Sunday, June 12, 2011

This was not supposed to happen

The home town wanted them to win. The media wanted them to win. The shoe companies wanted them to win. I'll flat-out guarantee you the folks on Madison Avenue that create all the advertisements for other sports related products wanted them to win.
But they didn't win. They got trashed in their own building. Yep, the Miami Heat crashed and burned.
So much for all the hype about the Big 3. Think back about that pompous, made for TV presentation that featured Lebron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh that you've probably seen 100 times, when they were introduced in Heat uniforms. Backs to the camera, smoke rising, music blaring, and they emerged from the mist. The crowd went wild. The talking heads engaged warp drive. The ad people were probably orgasmic. It was as if Ruth, Gehrig and Cobb --  or Bach, Beethoven and Mozart -- or daVinci, VanGogh and Rembrandt -- or Galileo, Newton, and Copernicus -- or Tesla, Einstein, and Edison were back in the mortal world to work their magic and genius. At that point in time, there were probably a few hard-cores that likened them to the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Bet you won't see that bit popping up on the screen again anytime soon.
In the end, it was just 3 basketball players that wound up looking like Larry, Moe and Curly when the pressure got cranked up. They play in Miami, call themselves the Heat, but they couldn't take the heat when another team looked them square in the eyes and wasn't intimidated.
I have little doubt the stories will still be about Lebron and Co., as to how they lost, rather than giving the Mavericks credit for kicking their ass, but that's just the way the media works. Once a darling, always a darling, and they'll find a way.
The Madison Avenue folks that haven't jumped out of a window yet have to go to Plan B. I can sympathize with that. It might not be easy coming up with a new spin on Terrycloth or Kidd's milk. And good luck with Dirk Nowitzki, when even David Stern, the Commissioner of the NBA, butchered his last name while presenting him with the MVP trophy on national TV.
After all the millions of dollars and all the hype, they didn't man up, so for now it's Lee, Didi and Chrissie.
It could be worse. Besides their ridiculous salaries, they will still make a ton of money off royalties from TV ads -- and yes -- there will be TV ads -- trust me, the Mad Ave. folks will come up with something.
That's something (Andrew) Louis, Moses, and Jerome (the real names of Larry, Moe and Curly) never enjoyed the luxury of.
Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard. (Horwitz, Feinberg, and Horwitz)
A bad comparison? Look at it this way. The original 3 stooges did a lot of their work in the 20's and 30's. Do you think people will still find replays of the trio in Miami entertaining to watch 80 or 90 years from now?
Maybe they should sign a guy named Shemp (Samuel). Couldn't hurt. Nobody knows who else is on that team anyway.
Summertime weather in Miami can be brutally hot, sometimes in more ways than one. I hope the Big 3 enjoy their vacations, particularly Lee. If the heat gets unbearable, he can always go back to a cooler climate. Cleveland comes to mind. Good luck with that.
Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.


  1. As Moe would say. You imbecile. Comparing slapstick comedians to basketball players. Thats not even a close call. Anybody with a piece of brain knows the originals will always rule. Remind me to moiduh you later. Nyuk x 3.

  2. The Rolling Stones sang, You can't always get what you want but if you try sometimes you get what you need. Lebron got what he needed. A good whipping !

  3. Loved that Rolling Stones bit. Wish I'd have thought of that. JL