The Detroit Lions and moonshine.

They still have an owner in William Clay Ford that never seems to show his face. I suppose that would be OK if the team were winners, or at least competitive, but the Lions have been neither for a very long time. Some say the reins of power have passed to his son, Bill Jr. The only things he seems to show up at are board meetings and an occasional cameo appearance at a car show. It's pretty simple. If the owner doesn't care, then I don't either. After decades of being a loyal fan -- when Barry Sanders walked -- so did I. They won't get another penny of my money until they become consistent winners, and I doubt I'll live that long. Let's take a hard look at them -- right now.

Matthew Stafford has been highly touted as a quarterback, but I can't figure out why. Without going into his injury issues, which have been well-documented, the pundits say he fully grasps the offense, shows leadership, and has a very strong arm. To all of which I say -- so what?

You name a QB in the NFL and I'll guarantee you he knows the plays and takes charge of the offense in the huddle or he wouldn't be there.

The rifle arm thing has always been overrated anyway. It's about putting the ball in the right place at the right time.Consider -- Joe Montana didn't have a particularly strong arm, and look what he accomplished. Conversely, John Elway had a cannon, but he didn't win anything until the very end of his career, when his arm was likely not as strong as in his younger years. Similarly, if a baseball pitcher can throw 100 MPH fastballs but not find the strike zone, or a golfer pounds his drives 350 yards into the woods, I'm thinking they're not going to be overly successful in their professions.

Even with a healthy Stafford, the Lions are fairly easy to analyze. One really good receiver. Nary a single feature running back. A mix and match underachieving offensive line. Sometimes tight ends catch the ball, and sometimes they don't. One really good young defensive lineman, another that's past his prime, and not much else.  A linebacking corps where probably none of them could start for another team. One safety that's hyped a lot, likely because the rest of the secondary often resembles the Keystone Kops. A journeyman punter. One place-kicker that's been excellent for a long time, but is getting old, and another young one that can kick it a mile, but sometimes doesn't know where it's going.

Throw in an underwhelming head coach and his staff, and there you have it.

Remember this. The Lions won their final 4 games last year. They finished at 6-10, which means they were a Millenesque 2-10 before that. So what did you hear then, and even now? Things are looking up. Many are predicting the playoffs. There's even been a couple hopelessly naive morons that have mentioned Super Bowl possibilities.

You've probably heard of such people drinking too much Kool-Aid.

I agree. They need to forget that stuff and start swigging tequila, or Jackie D, or even moonshine. Lots of it. Maybe they'll see things a bit differently.

Couldn't hurt.

PS. Many thanks to my Florida Chrome Cowboy amigo Mel. Kick ass while you're back in the 'hood in NYC for a few days. Always and forever, bro.