Thursday, July 21, 2011

Le Tour de France.

Since Lance Arnstong retired, most Americans don't have a horse in this race. But there's some very strange things going on.

Did I see that right or was it a replay from years past? Some car, whether a "chase" vehicle for a cyclist, TV folks, or maybe security people, driving alongside the pack, then suddenly veering to the right, side-swiping a couple of riders? They crash immediately into the rider to their right, which crashes into another one, and it's like dominoes. The guys on the outside get pushed into a ditch. Trailing riders get caught up in it like a NASCAR crash at Daytona without all the built in safety gear. Arms and legs flailing as they hit the pavement, or trees, and hopefully don't roll over cliffs.

I don't know what they do in France to the driver of that car, but in America, they would be charged with multiple counts of felonious negligent operation of a motor vehicle causing serious injury, and likely wind up with a prison term. Yet nothing happened. Must have been a cop.Only they could get away with that. Maybe France isn't so different after all.

Without getting into the drug issue that's plagued the Tour de France for many years, I dare say those guys devote their young lives to this, train like maniacs, and are the epitome of fitness.

They monitor everything. Their diet, body-fat, respiration, pulse rate, blood pressure, and probably other things we don't even know about. Lance Armstrong was once said to sleep in an oxygen-poor tent at night, so when he woke up the next morning for another leg of the race, his cardio-vascular system would overcompensate trying to make up the loss of oxygen when exposed to the natural atmosphere, hence making his bloodstream oxygen-rich -- giving him a temporary boost. If so -- now THAT S being serious about having the tiniest advantage.

I doubt anyone would claim the Tour de France cyclists aren't in tip-top shape. They push themselves to the absolute limits of endurance. Whether it's flat stages, time trials, or up and down the Pyrenees and Alps, in blistering heat or pouring down rain, it's almost a super-human effort and every llittle thing counts.

So why do so many cars and motorcycles associated with the race pull right in front of those world class athletes and force them to inhale exhaust fumes?  Doesn't that seem a little nuts? Try riding 10 or 20 miles, let alone over a hundred,  on your bicycle in rarified air while dodging pedestrians and breathing exhaust fumes. Theh go get some blood-work done immediately. I'm thinking your doctor, upon seeing the results, might want to ask you a few questions too.

And why do the French add so many letters to words that aren't pronounced? Take "Champs Elysees", where the tour finally ends, for example. They pronounce it Shahm Eely Say. Why not just call it Champ Boulevard? English speaking announcers often refer to the "peleton". Gimme a break. It's the pack. And what, pray tell, does riding on "his cups" mean anyway? They have more than one? I understand testoeterone is a big deal with these guys, but multiple cups is getting a little ridiculous..Or largely ridiculous. Or something.

At any rate, I wish all those riders well and may the best poor emaciated devil ride into Paris in a couple days for all the glory that awaits him.

As for me? Forget bicycles. Lately, it's been too damned hot to even ride the Harley.

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