Thursday, August 4, 2011

Much A-Rod ado about nothing

Here's a headline I saw on the net.

"The slugger allegedly took part in illegal, underground gambling -- and one high stakes game nearly ended in a brawl".

Conider that statement for a second or two.

First, I don't really care what Mr. Rodriguez does in his spare time. Where he goes, what he eats, the brand of car he drives, who he sleeps with, and any other details, hobbies or activities are none of my business. Or yours.

Illegal, underground gambling. Sounds ominous, doesn't it? It's just more overhyped fluff about nothing.

Why should anybody care if this dude wants to play in poker games? Oh, that's right. The law says it's illegal. Our legislators, in their infinite wisdom and benevolence, decided that allowing such activities to take place might lead to people gambling away everything they have and, hence, to a life of crime out of desperation.

Yet it's legal for someone to get addicted to playing the lottery, lotto, keno, scratch-off tickets, and what ever other games the state can come up with. Evidently, if a person loses everything they have to state-sponsored gambling, they will remain model citizens -- but if they lose it to a bookie or in a poker game amongst friends, they'll turn into John Dillinger. The hypocrisy has been screaming but nobody's listening.

How about bingo halls? Bring on the old ladies with their dawbers -- but it's still gambling. They put a few bucks down and wait for numbers to be drawn. The difference? That hall has paid for a permit, fees, and is being taxed.

If those same folks were playing the same game in one of their houses, they could be hauled off to the hoosegow.

Back to A-Rod. What's this guy making? 20-25 million a year? Whether or not any athlete is worth that sort of money might be a topic for another day, but let's do a little math. At 20 million, and assuming he loses a third of that to his agent and taxes, that comes out to about $35,000 a day. Cash. Take home. Every day. All year. 365.

That's another reason the "high stakes" part of the headline was so silly. Hell, he could probably afford to hire some world class poker players, the so-called "high rollers", as gardeners and pool boys.

Just a hunch, but something tells me that if A-Rod wants to be stimulated by a game of chance, it's not going to involve dawbers, Old Maid, Go Fish, matchsticks, or coins on the table. It's going to be for serious cash, or what's the point? Oops. I forgot again. The state doesn't get it's cut when money changes hands. Off to Gitmo with A-Rod.

And I highly doubt it's underground either, unless he's in one of Dick Cheney's bunkers. Where did that dude go anyway? Hmmm. Maybe he's the dealer. Sounds about right. Nevermind. I don't want to know.

Oh yeah. Almost forgot about the brawl thing. That's another non-starter. Major league baseball players have a lot of skills-- but when it comes to fighting and brawling -- they're just pitiful. I'll go all in saying those ladies in the bingo hall could take them.


  1. Two things.
    1) You forgot about all the casinos in Michigan that aren't run by the state.
    2) Its not just ladies that play bingo. I'm a man and like it too. So there.

  2. Thanks for commenting. Here's my take --
    1) The casinos are owned and operated by Native American "tribes". In the sordid history of this country, nobody got shafted worse than the Indians. Giving back? Hardly. It's just good PR. The reality is the state skims a hefty percentage off the top of their earnings, or they wouldn't be in business either.
    2) Nothing wrong with a man playing bingo. I got dragged into it once myself by a former girlfriend. Lasted about 10 minutes before I'd had enough of the blue hairs pushing me around. Didn't sit well with the girlfriend. She was adamant. Guess that's why she's an ex. Go figure.