More dumb commercials

Well, let's see. As a long time Jeopardy! fan it pains me to say this, but these Alex Trebek commercials have to go. Obviously recorded months ago, they feature Alex himself trying to lure people into sitting in the studio audience during tapings of Jeopardy! While standing out in the cheap seats, Alex says he never gets to sit down while the show is in progress, and the "view's pretty good from here".

Just one problem with that. Alex has been sitting down behind his podium for several months now. C'mon NBC, get with the program.

Former US Senator from Tennessee Fred Thompson is still hawking "reverse mortgages" in the wee hours. This is obviously directed at senior citizens such as himself. Free money, retain complete ownership of your own home, while enjoying your golden years, and millions have already reaped the benefits of this incredible offer -- quoth the Fredster.

There's a lot of things wrong with that. First, most senior citizens aren't awake at 2-3 in the morning when these commercials typically air. Second, there's no such thing as "free money". The companies offering this deal are buying up equity in the homes -- and if the homeowners live long enough for the company to get a controlling interest in said properties -- guess what might happen? Does the word "curb" sound familiar?

Worse yet, as the ad is fading away, the honorable Mr. Thompson is strolling back into his mansion with the perfectly manicured lawns and gardens. C'mon Fred. Do you really need the money that bad?

But OK, somehow I have to tie this into sports.

Hmm. Got it.

Shaq, and his Gold Bond commercials. If anybody ever really believed Shaq crams himself into a compact Buick for his everyday ride, then they gotta love his latest commercials. You know, the ones where the Big Aristotle spritzs himself with a bit of the magical spray and then shimmies like he's about to have his way with Rihanna, Beyonce, or Tyra. Please.

Besides, if I remember right, Gold Bond started out as foot powder. Then again, maybe they couldn't make a bottle of that stuff big enough to accomodate Shaq's reputed size 22 feet. That takes a lot of powder. I sure hope they changed the scent for the body spray. Smelling like Air Jordan #5 isn't exactly my idea of being sexy.

I dunno, but some of this stuff just doesn't seem right somehow.