Friday, August 2, 2013

Tiger Woods and Castro

Wow. It appears some guy named Castro just got a life sentence without possibility of parole -- plus 1000 years. So if I have this right -- after he dies in his cell, his remains have to stay in that cell for another 1000 years before they can be buried? That sounds a bit over the top -- not to mention creepy.

All hail Eldrick. He just tied the course record with a 61 in the second round of the Exploding Tires, ahem, Bridgestone National PGA tournament. For whatever reason, Tiger Woods seems to own this particular course. He's already won the same tournament 7 times before. And now he's tearing it up again. Assuming Tiger doesn't experience yet another of his recent colossal week-end meltdowns -- he should easily cruise home to victory at Firestone Country Club in Akron, Ohio.

Ah yes. One can only imagine how proud the late, great tire tycoon Harvey Firestone would be to have Tiger Woods as his champion once again on the course named after him.

Speaking of Tigers, I never knew Detroit Tiger ace pitcher Max Scherzer had one brown eye and one blue one. That must be a little spooky for an eagle-eyed batter to look at standing out on the mound.

You know how dogs have those "night eyes", where by day their irises are almost black, but under the moonlight reveal a different color? I have two male yorkies. At night, one's eyes are bright yellow, and the other's are blood red. How that came to be, I have no idea. But I do know the one with the yellow eyes is pretty mellow, while his counterpart is an agitator. He's always trying to stir the pot, in one way or the other.

So I suspect if Tiger manager Jim Leyland's eyes were to be closely examined, they would glow like embers as well. No wonder the reporters shine such bright lights on him.

And no matter what, I hope they continue to keep a tight leash on the Marlboro Man when a full moon is out. The way that facial hair of his seems to come and go so quickly reminds me of Lon Chaney in the old classic wolfman movies.

Leyland going on a rampage and ripping and tearing at the umpires is one thing.

But if he somehow breaks loose and runs totally amok, the last thing I need is to find Leyland in my back yard howling at a full moon.

One agitator with red eyes is quite enough, thank you.

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