I don't know about the rest of the world watching the Olympics but, in America, seeing and listening to some of the Olympic announcers on NBC reminds me of some of the stuff Rod Serling used to come up with on The Twilight Zone. Very strange indeed.
For a while there, I thought big-time sports anchor Bob Costas had gone off into another dimension. Yes, his words sounded normal and his wig wasn't moving around -- but his eyes were worthy of a Night Gallery portrait. Turns out, Costas was suffering from pink-eye, a semi-common ailment. With all the air miles he travels, even red-eye wouldn't have been much of a surprise. Hey, beats the heck out of brown-eye, which is a whole different subject, but I probably shouldn't go there.
At any rate, Costas couldn't continue, and had to be replaced.
Enter Matt Lauer. Like Steve Martin, Lauer's a wild and crazy guy, plus he's not too shabby interviewing people either. So what does he do?
Slips into a hot tub in Sochi, naked, with Al Roker, in front of the cameras.
Now I understand network camaraderie, and even getting into the Olympic spirit of things -- but c'mon now. Boys, boys, let's maintain a little decorum here. Nobody wants to see a couple guys approaching 60 yukking it up in a bubble bath. Besides, somewhere children are watching as well. Such a spectacle could easily scar their impressionable little brains for life. Perhaps even worse than Miley Cyrus, Bieber, or Shaq's body powder commercials. Even Rod Serling's deep, dark mind, would have cowered in fear at such horrors.
But of course, Matt and Al couldn't carry the load alone.
Enter Meredith Viagra, sorry, Vieira. Over the years, many years, the lovely Meredith has been on a lot of different shows, for different networks, doing different things. But none of them were sports related. So now, in their infinite wisdom, the NBC network execs -- the same folks that just forced Jay Leno into retirement while he was #1 by a mile in his time slot -- decided to have the ever-lovable Meredith Vieira conducting interviews with American Winter Olympians. If they had won a medal, Meredith would give them a hug while displaying her contagious smile. If they had fallen short, Meredith would console them, with her "I know how it feels to have your puppy dog run over by a freight train" look. All the while, Meredith knows as much about snow sports as Matt and Al do about bull riding at a rodeo. Then again, maybe that shared hot tub was a prelude to doing some serious research into just such a future venture. Beats me.
Regardless, why, pray tell, is a 60 year old woman like Meredith wearing a mini-skirt showing a whole lot of legs that are crossed just so, and facing them, while doing interviews with teen-aged male Olympians? Is this some sort of NBC subliminal scheme to get a rise out of them?
I certainly hope not. That would be a low blow. Maybe that's where my Freudian "Viagra" slip above came from. Yet I'm pretty sure male Olympians don't need any little blue pills to get their motors running, if presented with proper stimulation.
Meredith is a little long in the tooth to fill that bill. Now put someone like, say, Kate Upton in that chair with the same outfit asking the same questions -- and methinks the boys would forget about the medals, and sit up and take notice.
Bob Costas' eyes would miraculously heal overnight and be 20-20.
As for Matt Lauer and Al Roker? Maybe it's best just to leave them in the hot tub together -- but privately. Out of sight and out of mind is a good thing sometimes......
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