The Lion's game

First of all, that's the very title of a superb suspense novel that will keep you up late turning the pages. Several years back, a copy of it was given to me from a friend. At the time, I had never heard of the author before -- one Nelson DeMille -- but after reading it, I couldn't wait to read more of his works. He's the same guy that wrote The General's Daughter, which got turned into a major motion picture starring John Travolta. The Lions' Game was unlike any novel I'd read before -- or since -- and I go through novels like Judge Judy goes through the poor devils that are dumb enough to appear in her courtroom. Let's just say I read a lot. Because in the end -- the Lion (the "bad" guy), well, I don't want to give it away. But I dare say after you've read the last page, you'll be surprised. I highly recommend it.

And what, pray tell, does this have to do with sports? So far, nothing, but the title of this post was The Lion's game -- right? Which brings me to the professional football team that resides in Detroit.

DeMille's Lion was sly, cold, calculating, and ruthless. Sort of like an NFL general manager in a small market town dealing with the salary cap regarding the players. Detroit's Lions may be cold and calculating, but not so sly, and definitely not ruthless -- unless one considers the product they have offered up to their fans over the last half century. That's downright brutal.

But the Lion influence isn't just peculiar to the Detroit area. Indeed, it seems to have branched out over the years. Witness the recent Super Bowl. Remember when the first snap of the game sailed over Peyton Manning's head and resulted in a safety for the Seahawks? A guy named Manny Ramirez -- no, not THAT Manny Ramirez -- was the center responsible for that miscue. He's a former Detroit Lion.

A few former Lion head coaches have caught on elsewhere over the years as coordinators and the like -- but never has one been offered another NFL head coaching job again. Given the good-ole-boy merry-go-round of ex head coaches over the years that have landed the same job for another team -- this would seem odd. It's like once they've passed through Detroit, they're scarred for life.

Just recently, former head coach Jim Schwartz caught on as the defensive coordinator of the Buffalo Bills. Seeing as how the Lions still owed Schwartz over $10 million on the remaining two years of his contract when he rightfully got run out of town -- it would be interesting to know, between Detroit and Buffalo, who's paying what. At that, it's Buffalo. One of the few teams that's as sorry as the Lions. A perennial doormat team hiring the coach with the worst record in the NFL over his 5 year tenure to run their defense, is some kind of strange marriage. Good luck with that. You'll notice winning teams weren't exactly clamoring for Schwartz's services. The difference between Buffalo and Detroit? Buffalo typically gets more snow, and BTW, they've been to 4 Super Bowls.

The Lions have watched 2 Super Bowls played in their own stadium(s) over the years, but have never been remotely close to getting to the Big Dance. And the way Seattle and San Fran are looking these days -- not to mention Green Bay and a young Carolina team that's coming on --  the chances of the Lions making it to a Super Bowl in the next several years appear bleak, at best. It could well be Matthew Stafford, Calvin Johnson, Ndamukong Suh, etc., will be long since retired and grandfathers and STILL the Lions won't have played in the big game. Right now, it ain't looking good.

On that note, Lions' fans might want to ask themselves an honest question. Given the utter destruction Seattle wreaked on Denver (a really good team), how bad of a beatdown do you think the Seahawks might have put on the Lions in a playoff game?

The one former Lion that seems to have made a wise choice? Defensive lineman Cliff Avril. A couple years back, Avril wanted a 3-year contract worth about $30 million from the Lions. They rightfully balked. Avril wasn't worth that much money at the time. (For that matter, no jock is worth anywhere near that much dough, but that's a story for another day.) So as a free agent, he took his talents to Seattle. No, he still didn't get his $10 million a year. He signed a contract worth considerably less -- $13 million over two years -- averaging out to about $6.5 million a year. Quite a comedown in pay. But guess what? Now he's a Super Bowl champion. And how much is that worth?

Meanwhile, his former team, the Lions, continue their eternal floundering and are no closer to the Super Bowl than they've ever been. Now the Lions have brought in a new head coach, Jim Caldwell. He will no doubt institute a new system, so basically the Lions will be starting over -- again. And Caldwell's not exactly the Messiah. After all the other top candidates were taken off the board by other teams, Caldwell appeared to be the only guy the Lions could get. At that, he's done well as a top assistant while riding the coattails of a leader, notably Tony Dunge, but has pretty much shown himself to be a loser when given the chance to be in charge. Like Jim Schwartz going to the Bills, Caldwell coming to the Lions is hardly going to be a difference maker when one thinks of Super Bowl aspirations. Ain't gonna happen. Too many other teams are already vastly superior, and others are on the rise.

And you know what? In a few years, when Caldwell gets shown the door himself -- as he surely will -- he'll never be a head coach in the NFL again either. Because while the Seahawks can rightfully refer to themselves as the Legion of Boom, passing through Detroit appears to be the Legion of Doom for head coaches.

Enjoy the few years and the money while it lasts Jim, because this is your last stop as a head coach.

Like Edgar Allan Poe's raven once quoth -- nevermore.