Indy 500 is here again. Glorious

Somewhere, they'll probably be playing the final rounds of golf tournaments. Same with tennis. Major League Baseball will have a full schedule of games. The NBA and NHL will both feature terrific playoff contests. I'm pretty sure the NASCAR folks will be running a 600 mile race in Charlotte. And Landon Donovan, the highest scoring forward by far in American soccer history, will still be wondering how the hell he got left off the World Cup team.

And you know what? I don't care about any of it. The holy day has arrived. Time for the Indianapolis 500.

Bring on Gomer, oops, Jim Nabors, to sing "Back Home In Indiana". Sha-ZAM. (Got beer)

Let loose the thousands of balloons into the sky. (Already set up the pizza delivery)

All quiet while the chaplain offers his words of thanks and prays for the safety of the drivers. (Praise the Lord, the significant others have once again decided they have better things to do than watch a stupid race. May the force and credit card limits be with them)

Rise for the national anthem, even in man-cave, hand over heart. (Generator's gassed up and good to go in case something stupid happens -- like a power outage caused by an earthquake, tornado, tsunami, nuclear war, or the "smart" meter going berserk. You never know. Always best to have a back-up plan at critical times)

And finally, the sacred words themselves. "Start your engines". (Reloaded the propane tank and got brats and chicken for the grill -- just in case -- but such an assignment would be delegated to the lowest seniority viewer in attendance)

The crowd in attendance rises to its feet as they approach the green flag. Here they come out of turn four, three abreast. (The house is now in official lock-down mode. All cell phones must be turned off)

Qualifying at 230+ MPH? As in, if a driver can't average at least 225 all the way around the track, including the four corners, they need not bother to show up? Amazing.

Oh yeah. I am so ready for this. With all due respect to the tennis and golf folks, guys named Kevin Durant, Tim Duncan, Les Habitants of Montreal and the NY Rangers, and everybody else in the sports world -- these people are all on hold. It's time for Indy. And in my world -- this is a glorious thing.

Bring it on.