Never before in the playoffs

On Saturday, May 3, something will happen in the NBA playoffs that's never happened before. Three game sevens to ultimately decide three different series' will occur on the same day. Memphis @ Okla City, Atlanta @ Indianapolis, and Golden State @ LA Clippers. An NBA junkie TV feast indeed.

Thing is, if things work out later today, the same thing could happen on Sunday. In their games sixes, we need Dallas to get by San Antonio, Houston to topple Portland, and Brooklyn to knot things up with Toronto. All entirely possible, maybe even probable.

In fact, though it seems the NBA playoffs have been going on for quite a while, only two teams have even been eliminated. Chicago and Charlotte. But one way or the other, six more are going down in the next few days.

Best to be prepared, just in case the optimum scenario plays out. For two full nights of watching non-stop NBA game seven action -- I suggest the following, especially if you anticipate other hoop maniacs to descend on your humble abode to take part:

Put your favorite local pizza joint on notice. Starting at 6 PM on Saturday, tell them you want a large meat-eaters special delivered to your house every half hour until you tell them to stop. And tell them you just might want the same thing on Sunday.

Forget a case or two of beer. This is the time to spring for a half barrel. Your local party store can likely set you up.

Always remember that to be a good host, one must be considerate of the various tastes of their guests, and provide alternatives to pizza and beer. Twenty pounds of peanuts, a dozen bags of Doritos and potato chips, a gallon each of french onion dip and guacamole, and a couple buckets of the Colonel's KFC should probably do the trick.

If you have pets -- like dogs -- especially little ones -- board them. Though they won't like it -- they'll be much safer in the care of professionals than they would be in the company of a mob of lunatics in their own home.

Always have fresh-brewed coffee on hand. Nobody's going to drink it, but it's a nice touch and demonstrates you aren't a total heathen. And you never know when one or more of the wives or girlfriends might show up to check on their significant other. Just in case, have a 12 pack of Diet Coke in the fridge as well. Combined with the coffee, that usually soothes the savage beasts -- at least for a little while.

Almost forgot -- if you have a wife or girlfriend of your own -- board her too -- but not with the dogs. Such an effort to do so typically has a very negative effect on how they view your relationship for some reason. Much better to pre-plan this deal with your buddies. Treat all the significant others to a night in a deluxe motel, replete with saunas, whirlpools, champagne, caviar, and massage therapists. Worry about the credit card bill later.

Hey. Nobody said this was going to be cheap. But if you want to enjoy some serious NBA playoff action man-style -- then do it right.