Ladies college softball. Please

There's a few things that are very strange about the current collegiate softball tournament going on. In no particular order:

1) What gives with the pitchers constantly having to refer to the notes on their armband? It's doubtful the hurlers feature more than a four-pitch variety. Can't they remember the numbers? One is fastball, two is change-up, etc. This isn't exactly top-secret double naught spy communication stuff, it's a softball game. And if the signals are coming in from the bench, don't you think the other team will figure them out in about 5 minutes?

2) Unlike major league baseball, notice these softball parks don't have the distances displayed on the outfield fences. That's because they only average about 200 feet all the way around. Or about the same size as a little league park that 12 year olds play in. Hitting a home run is great, but given the aluminum bats and hot balls, what constitutes a "monster shot"? 230?

3) Why are these girls allowed to run up at the ball and take a swing? Sure, most of them are road-runners, beep beep, and fly to first base in seemingly nanoseconds. But if they're out of the batter's box when they make contact with the ball -- and many of them clearly are -- it's illegal. Of course, every team seems to have a bruiser in the line-up. They're easily recognizable by their girth and they pretty much always play first base. You can time them running from home to first with a sundial, and needles on seismographs somewhere likely twitch as they thunder along, but dammit, they hit a lot of homers. When they swing from their, lookout, hips and get hold of one, it might go into orbit, or at least maybe 250-260. This is huge. Gargartuan. Nessie, Bigfoot, Godzilla -ish. And the distance the ball travels is fairly impressive as well. Ahem.

4) Good luck figuring out the actual tournament format. With most other sports we understand what's going on. It might be the best out of 5, or 7, and in many cases win the next game or go home. Even nitwits like yours truly can comprehend those scenarios. But not with this tournament. First they played a round-robin, double elimination match in the "regionals". Those that advanced went to the "super regionals". Much of the same nonsense went on there. So what's next? The "uber super-duper ultra mega-regionals"? Here's an idea. One way or the other, pare the damn field down to 16 teams, set brackets, and let them start knocking each other off. Like the NCAA hoops tournies. If you lose -- you're out. There can only be one winner in the end anyway, so get on with it already. What's the problem?

5) I'm all for team spirit. Whatever a squad finds to motivate themselves is fine, within limits. I'll even begrudgingly acknowledge those dopey backward rally caps. But when these softballing girls, which are typically 18-22 years old, start holding hands and singing songs like they're 7 years old sitting around their first campfire at their first campout -- it leaves one to wonder. What the hell is going on here? Are they premier college student athletes or second-graders in big bodies? True, it beats spitting sunflower seeds, crotch scratching, and a little dab of misplaced pine tar could become a sticky wicket indeed but, c'mon girls, act your age.

Please.