You've likely seen that macaroni and cheese commercial. Liquid gold, they call it. That's probably true -- for a 12 year old. But if a 50-some starts pounding that stuff down, liquid heart attack might be more appropriate.
So Miguel Cabrera just hit his 400th home run to become the all-time leader amongst Venezuelan players by passing Andres Gallaraga's 399. What has gone unnoticed is Miggy just eclipsed the same record of a former Tiger named Al Kaline. #6 had 399 career dingers as well.
The differences in the two? Cabrera is in his early 30s and could well approach the rarified career home run air of such notables as Mays, A-Rod, Ruth, etc, before he's done. Kaline is now 80, so a comeback to boost his stats seems unlikely. While Cabrera can no doubt hit, that's all he can do. He's slow, and a defensive liability. On the other hand, Kaline didn't have Cabrera's power, but he was a complete ball player. A Gold Glover with a rifle arm that could also steal a base here and there. And one more minor detail. Cabrera now makes more money per game than Kaline ever did in an entire season. By far. There's inflation, but c'mon now. And you wonder why ticket prices have gone through the roof?
Another TV ad that's currently airing. A delivery man slams the tailgate on his vehicle, but a couple pizzas are sticking out and in the way. The pepperoni specials wind up blowing out the rear window. Question: Just how hard is that pizza anyway? And what bonehead came up with that ad?
Speaking of boneheads, Jason Heyward of the StL Cardinals pulled a classic brain-lock earlier today in a game against the Detroit Tigers. After hitting a double, of course Heyward was on 2nd base. The following batter stroked a deep line drive to left-center field. The Tiger outfielders were racing back, back, back. Now any little leaguer knows that in such a situation, a baserunner must choose between two options. Either go "half-way" to third base and see what happens, or tag up in case the ball is caught. Heyward was looking right at it. He went half-way. Incredibly, after the ball fell in safely for another double, he would run back and tag up anyway. So instead of easily scoring, JH only wound up on third. He would be stranded there. Turns out, but for his boneheaded play, the Cardinals would have won the game. Instead, it went into extra innings and the Tigers prevailed.
One little letter can make a big difference Dept.
American Pharoah just won the Preakness Stakes. After winning the Kentucky Derby a couple weeks ago, said stallion becomes the latest to vie for the Triple Crown at the Belmont Stakes in three weeks, appropriately enough on the anniversary of D-Day, June 6. Something about that extra quarter mile at the Belmont seems to have made a big difference over the years. Not since 1978, 37 years ago, when a guy named Jimmy Carter sat in the Oval Office, has a horse (Affirmed) won the Triple Crown.
Bet you didn't notice the spelling, though. "Pharoah" is incorrect, at least if his namers dubbed him after an ancient Egyptian king. The proper spelling is Pharaoh. That's probably OK, because as Mr. Ed would have said, a horse is a horse, of course, of course -- and chances are they don't care much about how their name is spelled. But it could make a difference elsewhere. Consider:
OK, "Billary" is on purpose from their detractors. Even my feeble mind can comprehend that. Would it have made a difference if King James had been dubbed Leboon or Lebroy instead? Probably not, because nobody ever heard of a Lebron before anyway.
But I'd be willing to bet we wouldn't have had the same President for the last 6 years if one letter was different in his name. In the aftermath of the 9/11 terrorist fiasco, if Obama had been instead Osama -- well -- good luck with running for anything, let alone President.
How about the Detroit Lions GM and all-around, ahem, genius Martin Mayhew? Invert the last letter in his name and what do you have? Pretty much what the Lions have been for over a half century.
Get ready for it. Here comes my last bit of stupidity. (Hey, unlike some mentioned above -- as least yours truly freely admits he's a bonehead).
Another pizza commercial, of all things. This one boasts of putting THREE AND A HALF FEET of bacon on one of their whopper creations. Well, let's see. Your average slice of bacon is about 10 inches long. So that means they only threw in about 4 strips on or around a giant pizza. Make it three and a half YARDS and now we're talking bacon.
And what the heck, as long as we're on the subject of cruising for a thrombosis, why not top it off with a heaping helping of the above-mentioned "liquid gold"?
Yum.
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