Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Olympic madness

These are some kind of strange Olympics. OK, we knew about the mosquito virus thing. And the polluted water. The cops (security) had threatened to go on strike. The Russians were fighting to attend (at least some of them) over that pesky doping scandal a while back. And where Brazil came up with a billion bucks or two to put on the games -- when in the grip of a nasty recession -- is anybody's guess. Did I mention their President is in the process of being impeached? Strange indeed.

To nobody's surprise the men's American basketball team is slaughtering all comers. It almost doesn't seem fair. But there have been some early surprises as well.

The Williams sisters of tennis fame got bounced in their opening round doubles match. Yikes. The elder Venus also got shown the door in her first round single's match. Could Serena be next?

Highly surprising was the men's #1 player in the world, one Novac Djokovic, also lost his first go-round. Holy cow.

They have a BB gun shooting competition? Who knew?

Per usual, the Chinese, ahem, ladies gymnasts look like they're maybe 8 years old.

Swimmer Michael Phelps has added to his collection of medals. Yawn.

Tandem diving off the 10 meter platform is pretty boring. And did you get a load of their builds? These guys look like they just escaped from a refugee camp after a year or so. Or maybe they've been drinking the water. Skinny isn't the word. Try emaciated. Skins and bones. There's a better way to liven it up. Who wouldn't love to see a couple Sumo wrestler types diving from 3 stories up? You know, those big fat 600 pound brutes. What a splash that would make, excuse the pun.

And what's up with the scoring system in gymnastics? It used to be the max score was 10 for any routine. Nine point eight or so was really good. We got that. Now they're coming up with scores like 15.348. What the hell is that?

Track and field fans are waiting to see if Usain Bolt will break his own world records in the dashes. Turns out he can dance too. He kept right up with what looked like the Brazilian version of the Rockettes. The guy is amazing.

World records are falling right and left in the swimming pool. But that's the way it goes. Every generation seems to get better than their predecessors. Four years from now at the next Olympics those very same records we see currently being set might well get beat again.

Golf has made a return to the games after a long hiatus. Why not? Can't be any worse than BB gun shooting, right? They've got medals for everything these days.

And of course, the announcers -- at least the American ones -- are up to their usual overkill. They rant, rave, and shriek like they've never seen an athletic contest before. Everybody's the greatest according to them. Until the next one is on. Then he/she is the greatest. These folks need to get a grip. Maybe THEY should drink some of the water, or at least be medicated. Better to have Cheech and Chongish type commentators passing a doobie back and forth in the booth. Instead of all the screaming, a simple "Oh, far out, man" would suffice. Also be very yuk-worthy.

But da games be da games. Joy here, heartbreak there, and hopefully very little doping going on -- except in the booth as mentioned above.

When it's all over, we can turn our attention to even more important matters. Like who's going to be on the next Wheaties box or cover of Sports Illustrated? It ain't gonna be Venus Williams.....

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