The Life Of Lions

Having been born, grown up (sorta), and lived my entire life in various suburbs of Detroit -- of course I got caught up in the madness. That would be Detroit Lions fever. Most every sports fan in that vicinity suffered the same fate.

Some never get over it. I was one of the lucky ones that finally came to his senses (sorta -- again). Sure, I rooted for them for decades. And nothing ever happened. Nary a trip to the Super Bowl, let alone winning it. Scads of money spent. Countless games attended. It was one heartbreak after another -- season after season.

Then one day a player showed me the light. When Barry Sanders walked, still in the prime of his career, way back in 1998, I figuratively walked with him. Good enough for Barry, good enough for me. Enough of this nonsense. These clowns aren't ever going anywhere -- was the thought. And the last 18 years have proven us both right. Not even a single playoff win. A grand total of one since a guy named Eisenhower was President. (I just happened to be there at the stadium and it was glorious). Of course they got drubbed the next week and have pretty much went back to their Keystone Koppish ways ever since. Good riddance.

The team, and their ever-faithful koolaid serving media, came up with the same schtick over and over again. This will be the year. It never was, but many fans kept buying into it. Still do, God bless their gullible souls.

Well, guess what? This won't be the year either. How do I know this? Two reasons. Destiny for one. Some things just aren't made to happen. And Sports Illustrated says so. SI wouldn't lie -- right? They've come out with their 2016 predictions and it doesn't bode well for the Lions.

SI has them bringing up the rear in the NFC North with a 5-11 record. Even the most delirious of Honolulu blue and silver fanatics would likely admit their beloved puddytats aren't Super Bowl worthy this year. But the basement? Even behind Da Bears? Really?

In fact, the gurus of SI think the Lions will be the fourth worst team in the entire NFL. Only the totally floundering Tennessee Titans, the train wreck that the SF 49ers have become in the post-Harbaugh era, and of course Cleveland. Hey the Erie-ites just won an NBA championship and the Indians are showing themselves to be excellent this year, but it ain't gonna happen with the Browns. They are, after all, still the Browns. Even worse than the Lions.

For those with some extra time on their hands and a couple bucks, yours truly would recommend buying the latest issue of SI to get their full run down -- and predictions for the season. Also throughout the playoffs, up to and including a Super Bowl pick with the score. Excellent throne reading material. You've gotta be sitting there just like everybody else, so might as well check it out.

Also make sure to check out the back page (Point After). Steve Rushin, a terrific writer with a whacked out sense of humor is up to his usual punditry. This time with alternate meanings for acronyms. The Buffalo BILLS becoming Boy I Love Losing Super Bowls is just one example among many. He refers to such twisted linguistics as "bacronryms". It's great stuff.

Of note, Rushin points out, the acronym of the World Taekwondo Federation (WTF) could take on a whole new meaning indeed in the internet age. Wisely, he leaves that to the imagination. He has editors too. They would likely not approve if he was a bit more, shall we say, definitive.

Yet even Rushin couldn't resist a parting shot at the LIONS. Losing Is Our Natural State. Given their history, it's hard to argue the point.

And so it will likely be again this year. It's just another season piled on top of all the rest.

But dang, 5-11 and in the basement?

BTW, two can play at this acronym game. Consider the title of this article. LOL. We all know what that means.

And it saves a whole lot of frustration -- and is cheaper -- to do just that when it comes to watching the Lions rather than rooting for them to win. Of course they're going to lose in the end. It's the Lions, remember?

As the man once said, the last 18 years have been Barry Barry good to me. Thanks #20.

I needed that.

Now if you could just somehow have a word with the throngs of misguided Lions fans that still remain to show them the light.......