So Eldrick Tont Woods, sometimes known as Tiger, turned out not to be drunk after all in his recent tete-a-tete with the law enforcement types. The ever reliable "authorities" say he blew 0.0 on the alcohol breathylizer. That's the good news for him.
However, the charge was DUI, as in Driving Under the Influence."Influence" is certainly not restricted to alcohol consumption only. It also entails any drug usage which would hamper his ability to drive an automobile. And that doesn't have to mean illegal substances like marijuana, heroin, meth, acid, and the like. Being under the influence also extends to prescription medication. Take too much of whatever, get zoned out, then drive a car, and if you get caught -- you have a problem.
By his own public admission, Woods is on the hook for such an infraction. Basically, he's already confessed to the crime. Tiger stated he was on post-surgery pain relievers and muscle relaxers, and didn't realize he had overdone it. That's the bad news.
Idle thought -- though he was found sound asleep at the wheel, with the vehicle still running, how did the car wind up with two flat tires? That question has yet to be answered.
At any rate, he was certainly unfit to drive. A potential menace to any and all other drivers who might have the misfortune to be in his vicinity. If a guy -- or girl -- keeps falling back asleep after being confronted by the cops, and doesn't know where they are, where they came from, or where they were going -- it could fairly be said that whatever they were under the influence of -- chalk it up to the f'ed up category. Way too much of something.
It will be interesting to see how the local prosecutors decide to proceed in this case. A conviction of some kind or other is already a slam-dunk -- if they want it. But will they? Who would be surprised if some sort of "arrangement" was reached, whereby Woods totally skates? Maybe a hefty donation to a worthwhile charity somewhere could make it all go away. Remember, this is Tiger Woods, not your average shop rat, super-sizer, or retarded blogger such as yours truly. The rules are different, and God bless America. Ahem.
Chances are, Tiger will plead guilty to a minor infraction and get off with the proverbial slap on the wrist. A couple thousand dollar fine -- laughable in his world -- and maybe a few months pseudo probation. No way will he have to wear a "tether", although his ex Elin probably wishes she had thought of that idea back in the day. And he can't be expected to "drop" periodically, because his own doctors will attest he needs to remain on certain meds.
Another idle thought -- what's more dangerous than Tiger being "off his meds"?
Answer -- Tiger being ON his meds.
Scary.
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