Dumbest play of the week

OK, all pro football fans "get it". The NFL's preseason is, and has long been pretty much a joke. To borrow the words of a Sports Illustrated scribe not long ago, trying to judge a team's potential by their preseason play is like judging the food by reading the menu of the restaurant next door to the one you're going to actually eat at. In a word -- useless.

The Detroit Lions went a sparkling 4-0 in the 2008 preseason. They would then proceed to go 0-16 in the regular season, setting a standard of futility and ineptness that can be equaled, not likely, but never topped, or out bottomed. The greatest here we go, then massive thud of all time. 

And we all know that the third preseason game is the only one in which teams actually try, for maybe a half or so. 

The fourth one is for the scrubs, marginal players, trying to make their ways onto the roster. 

But every once in a while, even a meaningless game like this results in a totally duh, have you no brains whatsoever moment. 

Such was the case when the same Detroit Lions faced off against the Buffalo Bills on the shore of Lake Erie.

Late in the fourth quarter, with time running down and the Bills enjoying a somewhat (who cares?) comfortable lead, they had the ball inside their own 10 yard line.

Garbage time.

Still, even at that point, the coaching staff, if they're paying the slightest bit of attention, is evaluating players.

Buffalo came out in a "tight" offensive formation, which resulted in Detroit packing all 11 defenders "inside the box". 

And what did the Bills do? Ran a draw play. To absolutely nobody's surprise, the overwhelmed running back was sacked at the one yard line. This play had about as much chance of succeeding as your average snowflake does of surviving long in the Amazon rain forest. 

But that's the thing. This, of ALL times, is when a team should show some imagination, and go for the gusto. They have nothing to lose by doing so. So try a trick play, or at least throw the ball -- dammit. Maybe they'll learn something they can pull out later when the games actually matter.

If I'm the owner of the Buffalo Bills, looking down from my luxury box to witness this, I'm outraged. I would say the following ----

What the hell was that? I'm paying you guys millions of dollars and that's the best you can come up with?

The first thing I do is dock the offensive coordinator 10% of his salary. If he squawks, I fire him.

The second thing is I dock the head coach 10% of HIS salary for both having hired this unimaginative troll in the first place, and not overruling such a ridiculous play call when it came through his headphones. And I don't want to hear any guff out of him either, or he'll be looking for another job too -- tomorrow. 

I'm a billionaire and can afford to eat their salaries, but I won't tolerate a single second, or play, of totally wasted time. It's not only insulting to me, but our fans as well. 

Lord knows it's been quite a while since this team has been competitive -- a trait the Lions certainly share -- what with those pesky Patriots kicking everybody's butts in our division and elsewhere around the league, but I fail to see the point in just ramming one's head against a brick wall when other options were available. At least TRY one. 

It has to be dumbest thing I've seen since certain tweets from on high and watching Congress in action lately.

Like those folks, the Bills might not be any good this year -- again -- either. 

But I will not sit idly by watching my team, scrubs or not, just mailing it in. 

Get after it, as best you can, or I'll get after you.

Yes, I could come down into that nasty smelling, sweaty locker room and have a not so pleasant chat with you folks in person. I dare say you wouldn't find me to be a nice guy under such circumstances.

Yet there is an easier, better way for somebody in my position.

The next time I see stupidity like that from my team, how about if I zap the Wifi capabilities in the locker room?

Or the hot water in the showers mysteriously goes on the fritz?

All easily enough done.

Don't mess with me any more fellows.

Whatever your capabilities are -- LET'S GO.

I will settle for no less.