The incredible Detroit Lions Kool-aid factor

You'd think they'd learn eventually. I mean, how many times do you have to be ripped off and slapped around before you stop doing whatever it is that keeps resulting in such punishment?

But no. Detroit Lions' fans, and their homer media, bless their collective pollyannish, if horribly misguided (dare I say "please shaft me again") hearts, appear to be back for another round of abuse at the hands of their beloved puddy-tats.

Since Super Bowls began, over 50 years ago, the Lions remain one of only four teams to have never even MADE it there -- let alone win it. The other three are all "expansion" teams. To wit, the "new" Cleveland Browns, the Houston Texans, and the Jacksonville Jaguars.

And they haven't won a single playoff game in over a quarter century. In fact, they've only won ONE in the Super Bowl era -- PERIOD.

It is a shameful record of failure indeed.

But never fear, as Lions' fans typically go, with their ever-gullible media force-feeding them massive doses of the Honolulu blue and silver Kool-aid, by thunder, this just might be the year.

How do they know that? Because the Lions defeated the Indianapolis Colts in the first preseason game this year.

Never mind that the Colts are riddled with injuries, including on both offensive and defensive lines, had many starters out for various reasons -- including QB Andrew Luck -- and are just trying to get healthy enough to start the regular season. Also never mind the Colts aren't projected be a very good team anyway.

Nevertheless, the bandwagon has started again in Motown -- or is that Notown? --  Blowtown? -- when it comes to pro sports. All the rest of their teams appear to be bottom feeders as well. But that's a story for another day.

Let's face it. During all the years William Clay Ford owned the team (and he closed the original deal on the very same day JFK got shot in Dallas way back in 1963 -- not a good sign), they were never more than mediocre in their best years. A good player here and there -- see Billy Sims, Barry Sanders, and Calvin Johnson -- but also a parade of clown head coaches and a hopelessly incompetent front office.

Now that not-so-slick Willy has passed on, the team is owned by his 90 year old widow Martha and their kids. Mustang Billy remains busy trying to keep the Ford Motor company afloat, so he's pretty much a non-factor. That leaves the ivory tower "girls". Does anybody think for one second these silver-spooners know the difference between a draw play and a Broadway play? Good luck with that.

Adding to the stupidity was dear Martha bringing on one Rod Wood, an estate manager, (what's a few more wasted millions?) who by his own admission knew nothing about pro football, to be president of the team.

But Lion fans have taken great heart that Bob Quinn, formerly of the New England Patriots, has been hired as general manager. His task is to oversee the draft and negotiate contracts. Basically, he's in charge of what players get signed for a chance to make the team.

Could he indeed be the "miracle worker" the Lion faithful have waited so long for?

Maybe. But he was only a scout for the Patriots. The Detroit media made a huge deal out of the fact that Quinn was "allowed" in the "draft room" for the Patriots. Well gee, give that man a gold star for evidently being able to keep his mouth shut (see no leaks to the press) when the important decisions were being made by his superiors in Foxborough.

Only the Lions would elevate such a person to the level of general manager. But Quinn would have been a fool not to jump at the opportunity.

After all, he got a long term contract (so did Matt Millen not that long ago -- and how did that turn out?), worth millions upon more millions of guaranteed Ford dollars. No matter what happens, he's financially set for life.

The bottom line is thus:

Though the Kool-aid addicts are once again shooting up in Detroit, over one meaningless pre-season win, this team isn't going anywhere this year. The still have WAY too many holes and liabilities compared to their precious few assets.

And let's not forget that these same Lions' fans, and the same media, were trumpeting them to the heavens when they went 4-0 during the 2008 pre-season. They would go on to post an 0-16 regular season, the worst in league history.

Yep, that was the year, like all the others over the decades, until the wheels completely fell off.

BTW, wasn't Ford the car company that brought consumers those laugh a minute exploding Bridgestone exploding tires a while back? And the Pinto that would sometimes erupt into a flaming inferno when struck from the rear?  Let's not forget the classic Edsel, from back in the 50s. How did that work out? Strangely enough (or maybe not), it debuted at just about the last time the Lions were half-way decent and Willie Clay was beginning to show an interest in investing in them.

Hey, the Lions have exploded here and there over the years, and certainly gone up in flames.

The above-mentioned Barry Sanders left millions on the table -- even huger bucks back in the 90s -- when he walked away from the team, because he knew they had no chance, ZERO, of being Super Bowl contenders any year soon. He was right. Had he stuck around, he likely would have put the all-time NFL rushing record so far out of sight, it would never be approached again. But he got out with enough money, his body intact, and most importantly, his sanity.

The same could be said for Calvin Johnson, the best receiver the Lions ever had. He wearied of their incompetent ways as well and took a hike with likely several more outstanding years in front of him rather than continue to get his brain and body beat up -- and for what? This clown organization?

Matthew Stafford, the Lions version of the Georgia Peach, is WAY over-hyped in Motown. Sure he throws for a lot of yards. That's because the Lions have never had a running game, so he HAS to throw a lot.

But while the Kool-aiders think Stafford is some kind of elite quarterback, most objective football people rank him somewhere in the middle of the NFL pack of starting QBs.

If he's got any brains, he'll play out the last year (this one) of his contract and hit the free agent market. True, there are many teams he couldn't start for. But there are also those contenders that would pay him big bucks to come, and maybe be the difference of getting them over the top.

Either way, he'll be financially set for life, if he isn't already. So why stay in the dregs of Detroit, which is pretty much an armpit big city anyway? Stafford has NO chance of winning a Super Bowl there.

Yep, the Kool-aiders are back out again in force, but they're as dumb and gullible as they've always been.

Get real. The Lions project to be an "average" team this year. Somewhere between 9-7 and 7-9. Maybe, just maybe, if everything goes right, they make it into a wild-card playoff game. Only to be blasted like they have every other year they've made the playoffs, which aren't many over the decades.

Besides the bumbling Fords, the inheritance guy Wood, and the probably not-so-mighty and vastly  overrated Quinn, as long as they stick with clueless Caldwell as head coach, they have sealed their fate.

And it will be the same as it always been.

But hey, like Phineas Taylor (PT) Barnum once famously said -- there's a sucker born every minute.

In the magical kingdom of the Detroit Lions, it's gone on for generations.

Keep zapping the sappies in their wallets and hearts....

If they're not smart enough to eventually wise up, then who's fault is that indeed?