The same thing happens every year. While the NFL and college football are center stage, nobody pays much attention to the NBA or NHL. But once the bazillion bowl games, some of which are ridiculous, are over, and the Super Bowl champ has been determined, hoops and hockey get more attention.
Then there's the dreaded March Madness, the ultimate hype of college basketball. Of the 64 -- or is it 68 teams these days? -- that get the coveted invite, typically less than a dozen, particularly on the ladies' side, have any chance of actually winning the tournament. It's cha-chings for the schools and various venues around the country that host the preliminaries.
The Masters golf tournament is a one time deal. So is the Indy 500. Hype, hype, hype, and then they're so quickly over.
Yes, there's probably tennis tournaments going on somewhere, and for sure soccer matches, but who cares? A bunch of grunting and/or shrieking females and teams of guys running miles back and forth across a field while seldom accomplishing anything worthwhile.
Interest perks up when the NHL and NBA playoffs finally get underway. For the most part the TV geniuses do a good job with the scheduling. It seems every night one or the other is featured, oftentimes double or triple headers. A sports junkie's (sometimes known as couch tater) nirvana. Beer, huge HD flat screen, loaded up pizza, KFC, more beer, or even some of that Chinese stuff in large quantities.
[Idle thoughts on that. Does anybody really know what "subgum", "suey", "gai kow", "gkun bo har", and "szechuan" are? And who in the hell is General Tso, and what war did he fight in? I'd like to believe "foo young" is better than "foo old", but ya never know. Depends what a "foo" is. Probably the people that keep buying this slop. BTW, always beware of the dreaded "special". It might just be those squirrels, raccoons, opossums, skunks, and stray dogs and cats that tragically become "road kill" you see on occasion wind up in the kitchen of your favorite Chinese place. And why do they call them egg rolls when there aren't any eggs in them?]
But I'm getting a bit off-topic here. Sorry.
So now the NHL and NBA champions have been determined. The Washington Capitals -- quite a surprise -- and the Golden State Warriors -- which was expected.
True, the US Open of golf kicks off next week, and no doubt Tiger mania will be back in full delusional force. Eldrick's chances of winning a major these days? Almost non-existent against the formidable field of younger hot-shots that are out on tour. Forget that. I give him a 50-50 chance of even making the cut.
Tennis champs will be crowned in the French Open this weekend. Two words. Who cares?
And then the world of sports gets REALLY boring.
No more hoops. Hockey's done. Football is going through spring practices and OTAs, which I've long thought should stand for Overly Tedious Assemblies, or perhaps Only Touching Allowed. Older Teammates Absent or Oh-so Traditionally Asinine anyone?
And then it's -- yawn -- baseball. The long and grinding dog days of summer, in more ways than one.
Every day will feature a bunch of games on TV, screaming announcers that will invent some all-time " record" of one sort or another having just been set, and the "homers" shamelessly promoting their teams despite how terrible they really are.
None of it matters, of course. Major League Baseball doesn't begin to get interesting until September or so. By that time the nags in the field will have been exposed for how bad they are -- see 10-20 games back -- and the thoroughbreds will start slugging it out in earnest for a chance to get to the World Series.
In the meantime for the next couple months, and no, preseason games in the NFL don't count any more than early straw polls in any given major political contest, sports junkies like yours truly will become extremely frustrated with the lack of any decent "action".
I might even try some of that sweet and sour gai ding subgum curry lomein stuff with a side order of "pork eggs" just for kicks. Dang, I never knew pigs ever laid eggs.
The things you learn reading a Chinese menu.
Amazing.
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