The latest edition of Sports Illustrated featured a cover about 3 days and 3 champions. Indeed, it's odd that the NBA, NHL, and horse racing would all crown champs in such a short amount of time. But it happened.
Though Washington DC is certainly known for inept politicians, a football team with a controversial name, a major league baseball team that chokes every year in the playoffs, and a hoops squad that can't seem to get out of their own way -- the hockey guys finally got it right.
Yep, the Washington Capitals, long the proverbial playoff underachievers, brides maids, are now the proud owners of Lord Stanley's cup. And good for them. Alex Ovechkin, a sure bet first ballot Hall of Famer, has finally tasted sweet glory. Da, comrade.
In the NBA, it came as no surprise the Golden State Warriors swept the Cleveland Cavaliers in the Finals. Even J. R. Smith's brain-lock moment didn't really make that much difference. Had the dolt known the score was tied -- not too much to ask from a highly paid professional athlete, one would think -- and made a put-back bucket to win Game One as time was running out -- the writing was already clearly on the wall. Yes, that Lebron guy is really good, perhaps the best of all time. But collectively the Dubs were far superior. The only bad outcome of the sweep that followed was Golden State didn't get another -- cha-ching -- home date for a Game Five.
Back to the Capitals. No one can say they had an easy road to the Cup. Good grief, they were down 0-2 to Columbus in the opening round, before overcoming it. Then they had to face their nemesis in the Pittsburgh Penguins. In the conference finals, the Tampa Bay Lightning, whom many picked to win the Cup, awaited. But they overcame them as well. Then came the upstart expansion Vegas Golden Knights, who had roared through an improbable season themselves, and had home-ice advantage over the Caps. Down they went in five. Very impressive stuff by the Caps. Worthy champions indeed.
Last but not least was thoroughbred horse racing. Some colt named Justify won the Triple Crown, as in the Kentucky Derby, Preakness, and Belmont.
Here's what I think I know about horses. They're not too bright as animals go. (Of course the same could be said of many of the politicos mentioned above).
Even if they become champions ala Justify, they eat a lot.
And poop even more.
Somebody has to clean that up. We're talking serious land mines here.
Then, if they were fast enough to win a couple major races, let alone the sacrosanct Triple Crown, they'll be put out to stud. Bring on the pretty fillies.
According to Sports Illustrated, the last Triple Crown winner, American Pharoah, was "having his way" with upwards of 200 Grade A Playboy caliber horse ladies a year. Now THAT'S just about enough to make any red-blooded he-man horse kick it into overdrive for a few races.
Pampered every day, eating the best of horse chow, and a world-class equine harem delivered to them to indulge at their whim? Dang, what a life.
No, Justify will likely never experience some of the greater tastes in life -- like Stroh's ice cream, Wendy's chili and dressed up baked taters, KFC cole slaw, or the beef and cheddar from Arby's, but hay, excuse, hey, all in all that's a pretty sweet gig. I'd bet even Mr. Ed, as famous as he was, would have thrown Wilbur and the TV gig under the bus to experience a year or three of that.
So OK, the Capitals got their parade in DC. Ditto the Dubs in the Bay area.
Justify didn't get a parade. But it's only logical.
He's likely too busy screwing his brains out right about now.
A horse is a horse, of course, of course. Right Ed?
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