Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The Detroit Tigers, the panic button, and space invaders

How can those 3 things possibly be related? Let a twisted mind explain.

Let's face it. The Tigers are a mediocre club playing in a sub-par division. At the time of this writing, the teams in the AL Central division were a collective 26 games under .500. That should tell you something about how they stack up against everybody else. If the Tigers were in the AL East, they'd be about 10 games behind. Further, if that were the case, they'd have to play teams like the Bosox and Yaniks, clearly superior clubs, a lot more. They could easily be 20 games behind and all this hoopla about a pennant chase wouldn't be happening. But it is.

And what's up with this whole "panic button" thing anyway? It seems like every time a team hiccups somebody's talking about pushing a panic button. Well, let's see. If I buy into that philosophy and the Tigers lose 3-4 games in a row, should I stock up on canned goods, bottled water, and build a bomb shelter? If Justin Verlander gets hurt, should I wrap my house in plastic sheeting? If the Tigers fail to make the playoffs, should I run naked through the streets, raping, looting and pillaging?

I think not. Can't remember which company it was, but somebody advertised an "easy button". That's the one for me.

It's not like the hostile Berserkazoids from the star system Limbeck have come to impregnate our women and enslave our men in di-lithium crystal mines on the planet Zombie.

No, it's just baseball. So relax. Every little thing's gonna be alright.

That easy button comes in handy sometimes. I highly recommend it.

(On a personal note -- now when Lynn, aka the dreaded Peavulture, goes on the warpath, it's time to panic. I'd rather take my chances with the Berserkazoids)

10 comments:

  1. omg john. thats funny and true. the reporters always think one team or one game is like nuclear war. time to panic. are they dumb for saying it or are the fans dumb for believing it? liked that button thing. you were always easy. lol. the catwoman.

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  2. I'll be damned. My feline friend of yesteryear is still lurking about? Reporters aren't dumb. They get paid for what they do. The fans that get caught up in the hype might be a different story. Not sure about the nuclear war comparison. In sports. there will always be "next year". If the nukes start flying, next year will happen, but most of us won't be around to see it. Big difference. Be well and thanks for commenting. JL

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  3. The way I see it is plain and simple, they want to make sure the panic button doesn't rust. So..keep testing it? NO let it rust!!

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  4. cats always lurk. it's our nature. 9 lives don't hurt either. you pointed out the difference between sports and nuclear war. that was exactly my point in the first place. thx. i always could tie you in knots. lol

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  5. I'm beginning to remember now why I always liked dogs better than cats. JL

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  6. Is that star system Limbeck perhaps a subtle reference to a couple rather conservative radio talk show hosts?

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  7. For the record, I'll state that "Limbeck" was merely a random word and a figment of my imagination. Off the record, I might say, "nice catch". JL

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  8. ouch. you and your dogs. don't tell me. a chihuahua that thinks he's a pitbull. hisssss

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  9. Nope. Two yorkies. A boy and a girl. Friendliest little critters there ever was. They like everybody -- even cats. JL

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  10. okay my pretty, i shall spare you for now and your little dogs too, but you never know when a cat may cross your path. its the ones with 2 legs you have to worry about. lol

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