Baylor/Notre Dame. Fashion won

I'll probably get in trouble for this, but that's nothing new. In the NCAA ladies hoops finals, the right team won -- for fashion reasons.

Consider the two head coaches, Kim Mulkey of Baylor, and Muffet McGraw of Notre Dame. Given they're both women, and the game was going to be televised pretty much world-wide, it should come as no surprise that both had their hair perfectly coiffed, and the make-up people likely spent a few hours before the game sprucing them up for the TV cameras -- from the neck up. Nothing wrong with that, but one of them doomed her team before the game even got started -- a little further down.

In a tasteful show of her team's colors, Kim Mulkey was clad in a stylish grey-tinged jacket, over a yellow top, which revealed just the right amount of skin. No cleavage, mind you. Horrors, that would be SO hoi-polloi, in such a setting. Complementing her bodice arrangement, Ms. Mulkey sported casual looking white slacks, that were tailored just so at the cuff level to almost, but not quite, conceal a pair of rather comfortable looking white shoes. For a basketball game, she had the perfect blend of eloquence and practicality. A most divine presence, indeed.

Not to be outdone, Muffet McGraw wore a very chic pastel green blouse to accentuate her own team's primary color. But going south from there is where things started to go wrong. Due to the high pressure atmosphere surrounding the game, perhaps Ms. McGraw, being likely the only person in the building wearing a tight black skirt and panty hose, could be overlooked. Pressure can do funny things to people sometimes in their decision making process. But those 6-inch spikey heels, on the court at a basketball game is, simply put, unforgivable. How am I doing so far pretending to be a typical limp-wristed male fashion critic?

If Brittney Griner and the Baylor Lady Bears weren't already enough to deal with, Ms. McGraw sealed her own fate by enraging the fashion gods. Now Miss Muffet can sit back on her tuffet for the next year and contemplate being only the 3rd head coach in history, men's or women's, to lose back-to-back title games. This is not to say she should stick strictly to curds and whey, but hey Muff -- if you get there again -- lose the high heels. Couldn't hurt. There's a time and a place, ya know?

Oh yeah. Almost forgot about the game. All hail Baylor, the newly crowned ladies' NCAA hoops champions. It turned out to be a rout.

But what would you expect to happen when leprechauns want to throw down with bears, and the spritely little elves have somebody in charge wearing spikey high heels?

Even princesses would understand that. I think. I hope. Maybe. Nah, probably not. It's likely even that wicked witch blond girl I mentioned a while back will be hopping on her broom and cackling overhead any minute now. Hope she doesn't bring those damn monkeys with her again. Such are the perils of a man trying to talk about things that have to do with women.

And I think that's where I came in. Like I said, I'll probably get in trouble for this.....