Thursday, April 5, 2012

Opening Day and hope

Ah yes. Once again, the time has come for baseball fans to emerge from their winter slumber and enjoy the boys of summer as they embark on yet another campaign. In the immortal words of legendary announcer Ernie Harwell, "Hope springs eternal, and a lady named Mary Sue from Keego Harbor snagged that last foul ball" -- or something like that. Hope is everywhere.

Unless maybe you're a fan of the Royals, Indians, Nationals, Orioles, or Padres -- in which case you can forget about that. You don't have any hope. Might as well go back into hibernation and take another peek in, say, a generation or so, because right now you're not looking at lilies, tulips and daffodils reaching up to embrace the warm sun. You've got baseball tundra -- arctic wasteland. Not even a dandelion. But you never know. Miracles have been known to happen, like in....

Detroit, of course, where the ageless Brandon Inge has once again defied the odds and made the team. Yet even hope has it limits. Though Inge has his faithful, if perhaps delusional fans, any of them hoping Inge is going to break out of his career-long slump and suddenly become a productive hitter, let alone post a batting average approaching .300, needs to be treated in a very special way. Like locked in a padded room and heavily medicated. There's no hope for them either, and they might eventually even pose a danger to society if left to run around freely on the streets. We semi-sane people don't need that aggravation, and what is it with this guy anyway? Does he have some compromising videos of  Tigers' owner Mike Ilitch or something?

Nevertheless, spring has sprung and hope is always a good thing.

Bet the Detroit Lions' brass hopes their players will stop getting busted with marijuana.


  1. Brandon Inge's new "blacksmith" arms would be better suited to tossing pizzas. We should urge Ilitch to give Inge a Little Caesar's franchise. Then he can feel like he is taking care of his pet, and help the team by removing a never has-been. Inge must be a cat, with as many lives he seems to have.

  2. Dear Anonymous. Now that's a helluvan idea. Wish I'd have thought of it. Good stuff. Thanks.

  3. Good idea except if Ilitch held true to form, he'd pay Inge 5 or 6 million dollars a year to spread tomato sauce and cheese with a bonus for every piece of pepperoni. It's not like Inge would be kneading the dough. Get it? lol

  4. If that's the same Mary Sue in Keego Harbor I think it is, she's grabbed a lot of balls over the years. LOL

  5. Yep, I got it all right. Just one question.... What do I have to do to get rid of it? Just kidding. I wouldn't touch that comment about Mary Sue with a 10 foot pole. Let's not get carried away with a name that was only a figment of my imagination to begin with. Next thing you know, you'll have her being some sort of chopper pilot.