OMG. Hostess is about to go out of business? No, no, a thousand times NO. Somebody please wake me up and tell me it was all just a nightmare. What is to become of us without our beloved cupcakes? Then again, most college football powerhouses always schedule a few cupcakes at the beginning of their season. So maybe we'll be OK there.
Good grief, I even shacked up once with a girl named Suzy, because her last name started with a Q. That didn't turn out so sweet. But she's probably been busy with other Ding Dongs ever since, so I guess it all worked out for the best.
How will we possibly survive without Twinkies? Easy. We don't have to. Watch the Pistons.
Despite their commercials, does anybody actually believe Peyton and Shaq really drive Buicks? They might have a complimentary one in their 10 or 20 car garage somewhere, but trust me, if they forego the limo, a high profile athlete, or even a former one, with upwards of $100 million in his back pocket, won't be tooling around town in a Buick. (Yours truly has heard rumors that Buick dealerships "card" people, much like bars. In a tavern one has to prove they're over 21 to partake -- but at Buick one has to prove they're over 50 -- but that's just idle gossip). That's kind of like the old commercials of Wilt Chamberlain advertising Volkswagen beetles. He showed he could cram himself into one, but did anybody really believe a slug bug was Wilt the Stilt's everyday car? Please. Perhaps it's time for a new law. If famous people aren't using a product, then it should be a crime for them to advertise it. If they're guilty of such a thing, sentence them like everybody else -- with a twist. The drunks and druggies have to blow and drop for a couple years while on probation to prove they are no longer using the product. Sometimes every day. Why not make the false advertisers prove they are actually USING the products every day for the same amount of time? Seems fair enough.
Ed Reed, a safety for the Baltimore Ravens, just caught a break. Reed's been around a long time and is known for being a hard hitter. With his credentials, he may very well wind up in the NFL Hall of Fame someday. It's likely a very good idea for any opposing receiver to know where Reed is on any given play when the football is thrown in his direction, because if he doesn't, sometimes the ensuing hit may be devastating. The problem is, Reed's also been known for going a little too far, as in committing blatant personal fouls, and has been fined by the league repeatedly for such actions. Against the Pittsburgh Steelers last Sunday, Baltimore's arch-rival, Reed leveled a Pittsburgh receiver shortly after he caught the ball. There was helmet-to-helmet contact, which is a no-no these days, but in fairness, if a defender is coming up to make a hit, they all lower their heads and drive through with their shoulders. If the receiver happens to lower his own head anticipating the hit a tenth of a second before it happens in a bang-bang play, which results in helmet-to-helmet contact, it doesn't seem fair the hitter should be held accountable for it. It's the NFL. Things happen fast, and mayhem is going on everywhere. Yet much like Ndahmukong Suh of the Detroit Lions, Reed was on double secret probation with the NFL gods. Reed was not only whistled for a personal foul, but subsequently suspended for the next game. That would have cost him over $400,000 -- you know-- a typical game check. (And you wonder why you have to pay 6 bucks for a stale hot dog and 8 bucks for a watered down beer. Hello?) Within 2 days Reed not only got an emergency appeal, but the one game suspension was cancelled and the fine reduced to $50,000. It still sounds like a lot of money, but take it in context. If the average person was in court and got slapped with a $400 fine for some wrongdoing, they'd likely be a happy camper if it got reduced to $50. And when's the last time you heard of a person with a "record" being sentenced, only to be granted an appeal within a couple days and receive leniency from a higher court? You haven't. It doesn't happen. Except in the world of professional sports.
Back to Peyton. Those pizza commercials with Papa John are almost as shameless as the "cut that meat" thing he did for a fast food franchise a while back.
On the eve of turkey day, we should all give thanks that Danica Patrick wasn't in the deciding race for the NASCAR championship a few days ago. Who knows how the green wrecking machine may have affected the outcome if she had been allowed out there?
OK, I think the rants are out of my system now. Back to the usual insanity from now on.
No comments:
Post a Comment