Sunday, May 5, 2013

Danica Patrick and Ricky Stenhouse

They make such a cute couple. Though they come from vastly different parts, and cultures of the country, both are NASCAR drivers. Both are also technically "rookies" on NASCAR's top circuit, the Sprint Cup. Who amongst us with an ounce of gossip coursing through our veins (which is everybody) isn't fascinated by such a relationship? After all, away from the track, one of them is a big time sex symbol. Countless throngs of members of the opposite sex absolutely drool at the thought of even being in the same room with such a person. And if Danica could find a way to beef it up a little bit between her biceps -- she wouldn't be too shabby either.

Idle thought: Last time I looked, Danica was driving a Chevy on the track. With her being 31 years old, and Ricky only 25 -- would I be out of line if I said poetic justice might be served if Ford Motor Co. brought back a NASCAR racing edition of the Cougar, just for her?

Such a cute couple indeed. Until towards the end of the Talladega race. There was nothing cute about how the dynamic duo performed there. In fact, it was flat-out ugly.

With the laps winding down, Ricky Stenhouse tried to make a lane toward the outside of the track that wasn't there. He bumped another car, sending it out of control, which in turn caused a massive pile-up taking many of the remaining cars out of the race. Others were quickly wrecking every which way.

But Danica, trailing the action, wasn't about to get caught up in all that. Nosiree, Go Daddy. Just because her sweetie made a bad move that caused a few million bucks worth of damage to other cars was no reason for Danica to succumb to all that boy nonsense. No way was she going to let those pesky drivers with the Y chromosome decide to end her day. She appeared to instantly implement a fall-back plan of her own. Though her car was initially untouched by others, it looked like she decided to make a hard right into the wall -- wrecking herself. That would teach those boys.

Danica pounded the steering wheel and pouted while yet another of her mangled cars was being towed back into the garage area.

The moral of the story? A few simple letter changes to their names would get it just about right. Forget Stenhouse and Patrick. How about Henhouse and Patwreck?

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