Rants to shut up about

There's a few things yours truly needs to get off his chest before going back to my usual suave, debonair, and ultra-twerky style of sports writing. So in no particular order....

What's the deal with Kobe? The dude's all the way over in Shanghai, gingerly attempting to shoot baskets in some two-bit gym while still recuperating from an achilles injury. But never fear, the reporters found him and still hang on his every word like he just came down from the mountain with the tablets. Besides, kobe is literally a variety of Japanese beef. A piece of overpriced meat. Why would anybody give a rat's behind about Bryant shooting baskets in Shanghai? Show me a video of him pulling a rickshaw with Donald Trump and Newt Gingrich sitting in the back -- and I might sit up and pay attention. In the meantime, two words regarding Kobe and his media groupies -- shut up.

The Detroit Tigers have it bass-ackwards. Down 3-2 in their best of seven series against the Bosox, with the series heading back to beantown, incredibly, they seem to think all the pressure is on the Red Sox. "They have to win one more to close us out", one said. "At this point, we have nothing to lose and the pressure is all on them", said another. Just one question. Who do they think they're kidding? The pressure, all 100% of it, is squarely on the Tigers. Win Game 6 or go home. Period. Though Boston would no doubt love to finally dispatch the Tigers in Game 6, pop the champagne, and get ready for the World Series against St. Louis, they're in a position where they have two games to win one. For the Fenway faithful, Game 6 is like playing with house money. So as for some of the Tigers, and a few of their local koolaided scribes getting the pressure thing all wrong -- the same two words. Shut up.

Just a few days ago, LA Dodgers pitcher Clayton Kershaw was regarded as being the best starting pitcher in the National League, if not the entire major leagues. He had dominating stuff. Well, a few hours ago the St. Louis Cardinals lit him up. CK gave up 7 runs and wouldn't survive the fifth inning in an eventual 9-0 trashing by the Redbirds to end the Dodgers' season. It happens sometimes.

Could it happen to Max Scherzer of the Tigers in their own Game 6 against the Red Sox? Remember, Scherzer was an incredible 21-3 throughout the regular season and a Cy Young favorite. He's had great stuff in the playoffs too. But it might just be that Mad Max is long overdue for the same pinball treatment that befell Kershaw. After all, the Bosox have a fearsome hitting line-up, and c'mon, nobody foresaw Scherzer going 21-3 in the first place. He's good, but not THAT good. It could happen. And I wish the aforementioned scribes would stop crowing about the Tigers having the best starting rotation in baseball. Verlander, Scherzer, Sanchez, and Fister is an impressive bunch. But no more impressive than Bucholz, Lackey, Lester, and Peavy that the Bosox throw out there. They need to shut up too.

Prince and the Pauper Dept. His outrageous, mind-boggling, and perhaps even indecent long-term contract aside -- I see no reason -- NONE -- why Prince Fielder should even be in the Tigers' lineup. The man has a long sordid history of choking in post-season play, and this year is no different. Once again, he's batting under .200 when the pressure is on. And it's not like this guy is a bargain anywhere else on the field. The only position he can play is first base and he's slow. Sure, during the regular season Fielder swings the bat like John Daly does his driver, hits home runs, and racks up some RBIs. But if he can't perform when it counts the most -- then what good is he? My suggestion? Get his fat butt out of there and plug in somebody else. Anybody else. Pick one. They couldn't do much worse when it comes to the post-season. And BTW, just in case Fielder is thinking about flapping his gums to the media -- two words. Shut up. Nobody wants to hear what a non-contributor has to say.

Like Kobe Bryant above, we're supposed to get all agog because Paul Pierce dared to foul His Highness, King Lebron James, in an exhibition game? Note to breathless talking heads. Shut up.

And then there are those that want to project what position Lebron might play in the NFL, and how good he would be. Guess what? It ain't gonna ever happen, so who cares? That's taking fantasy football to a whole new level. What will they come up with next? How Oprah might do as an NHL goalie? Shut up.

Uh oh. My beloved yorkies have me surrounded and are dragging me off by the pant legs to the bedroom for some cuddle time.

So it's time for yours truly to heed his own advice and.....

Well, you know......