Tiger Woods. Godlike?

Drop to your knees, clasp your hands together and give thanks for your salvation, all ye miserable peasants. Line up the sacrificial virgins at the altar and let the trumpets blare. The Messiah's long anticipated return draws nigh.

Yep, none other than Tiger Woods is about to start golfing again. What, you thought this was about something or someone else?  Hmm. On second thought....

Our Eldrick, who art in comeback
Shallow be thy name
Thy bimbos come, thy marriage done
In America, as it is in Sweden.

Give you this day your holy majors
And forgive us our dalliance with Rory,
As we forgive your escapades in Vegas.

And lead us not to Adam, Martin, or Phil,
But deliver you to another green jacket

For thine is the kingdom of Augusta, the power of your brand, and the glory bestowed on you by the adoring throngs of groupies forever and ever.

Amen.

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

Nevertheless, 3 months after back surgery, Tiger is ready to give the PGA tour another go next week at the Quicken Loans National, which will be held at Congressional Country Club in Bethesda, Maryland. It seems odd that Quicken is owned by Dan Gilbert, who is based in Ohio, and has Michigan roots, would sponsor a tournament in Maryland. Then again, Gilbert also owns the Cleveland Cavaliers of the NBA, and he was the same guy that said his Cavs would win an NBA championship before Miami did when Lebron James ditched his team and "took his talents to South Beach" a few years back. We all know how that worked out. The recent beatdown by San Antonio aside, Lebron has two rings. Danny Boy's Cavs are still floundering. Revenge of the nerds might work in the movies, but seldom in professional sports. But I digress.

Back to Tiger. The talking heads are already in warp-speak counting down the days and hours until Eldrick tees it up again with the big boys. No matter how he plays at the Quicken, it's absolutely a win-win situation for him. Consider....

If he crashes and burns, as in not making the cut, the apologists will be out in force. They will likely say Tiger gave it a heroic effort, but it's too much to expect anyone to be able to play at a high level so soon after a major injury. Nevermind that by entering the field, Woods knocked somebody else out. And since when were former sports stars coming back from being hurt allowed to play themselves back into shape at the major league level, especially at the expense of another player? Not in basketball, baseball, football, or hockey. Throw in lacrosse, volleyball, and soccer. Pro tennis players wouldn't dare come back if they weren't totally healthy, lest they be eaten alive by a quality opponent.

Either Tiger's 100% good to go or he's not. If yes, than no excuses. If no, then he has no business back on tour. Unlike tennis, where it's head to head, it's not like Woods doesn't have a variety of PGA level golf courses he can practice on with or without a few playing partners as he attempts to regain his game. Quitely, privately, get it together, however long and whatever it takes, before jumping back into the big leagues.

However, if Tiger indeed makes the cut at the Quicken, he will no doubt he hailed as a hero. We will hear about his Audie Murphy courage, his John Wayne true grit, and his overcoming all odds like that Brat that just knocked off Eric Cantor. Obama might even give him a medal -- perhaps nominate him for a Cabinet position. Considering his alleged history with the fairer sex, Secretary of the Interior would seem to be just about perfect. Ahem.

And OMG, if Tiger were to actually, gasp, win this tournament? For one thing, a few more good paying jobs would become available. That's because many of the talking heads would be so hot with their excitement -- they'd likely spontaneously combust. Heads on fire for real on the 4-letter network would give them a huge boost in the ratings. It could even be that some of those pesky countries and factions on the other side of the world would call a truce in their constant warring so they could all tune in to see which American sports reporter went up in flames next. In that respect, Eldrick winning a tournament might be a good thing for the world.

But alas, him coming back to the PGA tour has its downside as well. It took a while, but during the 3 months of his absence, finally -- FINALLY -- all the Tiger replays from years, tournaments, and shots past, mercifully went away.

In the meantime, it's been a joy to watch pro golf tournaments as top golfers from all over the world compete at various venues. Why? Because in the absence of Woods, the TV coverage and commentary is spread much more equally across the field. We've got to see a lot of golfers and shots we never would have seen if Eldrick were present. Because when he was, even he wasn't competitive, much less on the leader board at any particular tournament, the viewing public would still be bombarded with Tiger this and Tiger that, to the exclusion of other action around the course.

The Tiger hype has started already. And it's going to be even worse at the Quicken. Everything the man does, from drives, iron shots, chips, putts, taking a drink of water, eating a banana, talking with his caddie, etc., will not only be shown, but replayed -- over and over and over. Such is the continued fascination with Eldrick Tont Woods for whatever reasons. And while this is going on, viewers won't get to see a lot of other things going on around the course. Let's face it. Despite all the on-course cameras and various commentators, they can only broadcast one video and corresponding audio at a time to fans out in big screen and surround sound land. If a disproportionate amount of air time is devoted to one player, then the fans are necessarily deprived of seeing many other things going on.

Here's wishing Tiger well on his comeback trail, and yours truly will tune in to the Quicken tourney next week to check it out, if only for a short while. Because I fear it's going to be the Tiger show again, regardless of how well he fares. See Tiger walk, while "experts" give their prognosis on his post-surgery stride. We were denied seeing a great shot elsewhere on the course. See Tiger scratch his ear. Did it just itch, or could this be a symptom of a neurological after-effect of his back surgery? Bring on more experts to talk about it and lets see a few replays, replete with slow motion -- maybe even frame by frame. Please.

So if you're a Tiger fan, the Quicken tourney will definitely be the thing to watch because, one way or the other, your man is going to get some serious air time. If things work out well, you might even be treated to seeing a few more on-air personalities go super-nova. And wouldn't that be fun?

Personally, yours truly enjoyed the arrival of Tiger Woods on the world golf circuit back in the late 1990s.. He was quite the phenomenon and likely racked up the greatest 10 years of golfing accomplishments in the history of the game.

But I've liked watching golf more in his absence, because the coverage is so much more evenly spread amongst the field, as it should be.

Yes, Tiger gave the PGA a huge bump in popularity when he came on the scene and was winning everything. He was just what they needed at the time. But 15 years later, his personal foibles aside, the Tour is very much alive and well with young stars continuing to emerge from all over the globe.

Contrary to the current Tiger hype -- and it will fade away eventually -- in my humble opinion the game of golf has been better served in Tiger's recent absence. It has allowed us to see so much more from other really good players.

Woods is a lock for the golfing Hall of Fame, but he's pushing 40, been through various injuries, swing changes, personal trials and tribulations, even caddies. Though once thought to be a given, it's no longer realistic to think he can ever catch, much less surpass Jack's 18 major victories. His groupies can wish he may, wish he might all they want, but it ain't gonna happen. It's been 6 years since he won one, and nobody, including Tiger himself, knows for sure that he will ever even be competitive again following his surgery, let alone return to his former dominance of years ago.

And guess what? The other fearless young studs with serious game keep on coming. In any given tournament, including a "major", it only takes one of them to get hot for 4 days to deny Tiger, assuming he can be in contention, no given, another one. Lately we've seen a lot of new champions, and I suspect that trend will continue.

Like it or not, Tiger Woods' days as a dominant force on the PGA tour are most likely done. It was a great run, but the competition is too ferocious these days and will certainly continue in the future as Tiger gets older yet. These guys don't care about his former fame or legacy. They're out to make their own fame and fortune. Such is the nature of pro sports. They come, they rise, they fall, and others can't wait to take their place.

But for at least one more week, Tiger will be front and center next week. Replays and all. Here's wishing him well.......