Saturday, August 22, 2015

More dumb things

So why is it your average major league relief pitcher -- especially a "closer" -- normally needs 30-40 pitches in the bullpen to get warmed-up, but once in the game is only good for 20 or so before he's totally gassed?

In the recent Detroit Tiger/Texas Ranger game one announcer was gushing how Tiger Ian Kinsler had "bolted out of the box" and legged out a double on a pop fly to left field. Replays clearly showed Kinsler was lazily trotting towards first place, fully expecting to be out, until he realized the left fielder had misplayed the ball. Only then did Kinsler break into a sprint on what turned out to be a fluke hit. This guy's getting paid millions and he's supposed to run hard on EVERY play. Further, even homer announcers should have seen and called it like it was. Kinsler dogged it, but lucked up into a two-bagger.

Clicking onto the NASCAR race is Bristol, yet another announcer was screaming like nukes were incoming. Turns out, it wasn't a big wreck. Oh no. Just one car passing another. On lap 56, out of 500. Hey, there's 43 cars out there. Passes are going to happen all race long. Lots of them. So please spare us the hyper-ventilated gibberish. We don't need to be screamed at over such mundane matters. Where do they get these guys, and what do they teach and feed them in announcer school? If anybody needs to be tested for steroids -- it's these clowns. That's all yours truly needed to hear. Click.

Back to the Tiger game. Back-up catcher Alex Avila was seen in the dugout talking on the phone. That's begs a question. Who was he calling? His daddy Al, the new GM, after Dave Dombrowski got ran out of town? Alex can't hit his weight anymore, and has always been injury prone, so staying on good terms with dear old dad is probably a good idea. Or could he have been calling the bullpen? Wait a minute. Don't the Tigers have a pitching coach that's supposed to handle those duties? Then again, maybe he was just phoning in a pizza order. If your daddy being the GM is a good thing, then might as well go whole hog and order up a few of the owner's cheesy grease bombs. Party on and keep sucking up, dude. While it lasts. But that .170 batting average, not to mention more time on the disabled list than the late Evel Knievel, isn't going to work forever. On any other major league team.......

Remember Nomar Garciaparra? He was a terrific shortstop for the Bosox not too many years ago. Even an All-Star. He could field, hit, and run. After his playing career was over, he went into broadcasting. Nomar made it back into the bigs again calling various major league games on national TV. But then something evidently went horribly wrong. Earlier today, Garciaparra was manning a microphone at -- the Little League World Series? Really? Oh my. But maybe this is what happens when the television folks have a glut of announcer wannabes. Somebody has to look after the 12 year olds. Not everybody can be as rhetorically brilliant as John Kruk, you know. Ahem.

On a non-sports note, it's interesting that two women made it through the rigors of Army Ranger training to earn their places in an elite unit. A lieutenant and a captain. Well done. But perhaps the Army is looking in the wrong places. They don't need female officers going through all this stuff. Want truly tough broads? Start cloning Ronda Rousey. Turn a few battalions of those loose in a war zone somewhere to run amok and wreak havoc.

Just a thought.....

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