Thursday, February 16, 2017

The Bonehead Files

It seems we have a couple new members to bestow the not-so-honorable title of "Bonehead" upon.

Holy cow. Can that be right? AARP is considering issuing its own swimsuit edition of its magazine?

Well then. If it's anything like Sports Illustrated's, seniors will get to see a whole lot of pix of females in various stages of undress, up to and including nudity. Thing is, who might they be? Judge Judy? Hillary? Baba WaWa? A Supreme Court justice or two? Dang, who wouldn't be just tickled to see Ruth Bader Ginsberg frolicking on a beach stark naked? Brrr.

What they don't seem to realize is that by coming out with such an outrageous pictorial they might just lose a great deal of their membership -- see dues money. If people started leafing through that, they might keel over dead from utter shock.

Truly a bonehead idea.
Ixnay that -- please.

The ever-yappy Stephen A, Smith is back up to his boneheaded ways. As stated in this space before, his initials -- SAS --  are just about perfect, because nobody's sassier than that clown. And why does he always have to get wound up like Barney Fife on 'roids over the most mundane of topics?

The rumor has been floated that the Houston Texans and New England Patriots might consider swapping J.J. Watt for Rob Gronkowski even up. If true, interesting. Both are certainly dominant players -- when they can stay healthy -- which doesn't seem to be very often. Both would likely cost a fortune to sign long term. The Pats could use an edge rusher, and didn't they just march through most of the regular season, playoffs, and miraculously win another Super Bowl without Gronk? He likely wouldn't be too happy to leave, especially bound for a sub-par team like the Texans. Watt would be thrilled to finally get a chance at a ring. Lots of subplots on this trade possibility.

But then along came Stevie with his two cents worth. Watt's job is easy, he said. All he has to do is stop the run and get after the quarterback on pass plays. No prob, said the sass-meister.
Never mind that on every play, he gets into a virtual car wreck with a 300+ pound offensive lineman.

And right then, yours truly would have gladly ponied up a C-note if someone would have countered Smith with the following:

What about your job, Stephen A.? You spend a couple hours in make-up, have the majority of your future dialogue given to you by various off-screen stat geeks, then come out here and flap your clueless gums about sports you never played -- while raking in mega-bucks. How easy is THAT?

Yep, the SAS man most definitely deserves a plaque and immortal place is the most un-hallowed of halls.

Welcome to the Bonehead Files indeed.

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