You suspect they're on drugs when....

The NHL institutes a scoring system whereby a team like the Detroit Red Wings remains in the "hunt". At last look, out of 58 games played so far, the Wings have won a mere 13 of them in regulation. This equates to an abysmal .220 winning percentage, and they're rightfully in the basement of their entire conference. But due to the wacky way points are tallied, the winged-wheelers are likely only a 3 game mini-winning streak away from being right back in the thick of the playoff race.

A major TV sports network televises basketball games featuring schools like Quinnipiac, Fairfield and La Mon. Ever hear of them? Me neither, so why would we watch such tripe? Probably not even the alumni, assuming they have any, would waste their time when a thousand other channels are available. Wait a minute. La Mon? Did they name a school after that guy that used to race a bicycle over in France once a year for three weeks or so?

They expect any sort of ratings for women's college gymnastics. If you think ladies hoops has a hard time drawing fans to the arenas, this is downright shameful. Besides the stick-girl competitors, their coaches, and a couple of refs, is there anybody else in the whole building? No need to open the concession stands and what would they give to the super weight-conscious gymnasts anyway? Diet celery? One-cal tofu nachos? Does that even qualify as people food? Yuck. And some company somewhere has to step up and provide commercials for these telecasts (sponsors). So how do you think they like it when they find out later that maybe three people in the country were tuned into such a broadcast? And if it's in the wee hours, when many of these games are shown, probably two of them had fallen asleep and the other one's in an alcoholic stupor. Good luck selling products.

The announcers (and some players) go absolutely ballistic when an NBA player dunks. Hey, most everybody in the NBA can dunk. It's like making a 6 inch putt on a golf green. The player has to be a total klutz to miss it, and there's a lot of different ways to go about it, but it still counts as two points or one stroke, and we'll no doubt see a whole bunch more of them before the contest is over. Nothing special, so what is it with these guys that come unhinged with ecstasy every time it happens?