Old timers will remember Conrad Dobler. He was a right guard for the St. Louis Cardinals football team back in the 70's. Born in Chicago, drafted out of the University of Wyoming, and played next to a right tackle named Dan Dierdorf, of University of Michigan and announcing fame.
Back in his heyday, he was known as the dirtiest player in the NFL. This is a guy that had no qualms about slugging Mean Joe Greene, and kicking Merlin Olsen in the head, amongst other stunts. A few of his quotes over the years ---
You know how defensive linemen jump up with their hands in the air to knock down passes? Every time I saw one do that, I'd punch him in the solar plexus. That would keep their hands down.
I only bit one guy: Doug Sutherland of the Minnesota Vikings. He got his fingers through my face mask and I don't think they were there to stroke my mustache. So I bite one finger in my life, and I don't even chew on it. The legend grew from there. It's almost like I'm worse than Jeffrey Dahmer.
My father gave me a piece of advice: Never buy anything that eats while you sleep.
I like tits. If women had three, it would be even better.
Never get into a pissing match with a skunk.
One game I knocked the crap out of Merlin Olsen. If you wanted to see it on instant replay, you had to go to the kitchen because I knocked him so far out of the TV frame....... It's been twenty years since I played him, and I'm still on his f---ing mind. And I like that.
If it flies, floats, or f---s, rent it.
On an alliterative note -- proper preparation prevents piss-poor performance.
Pain is a state of mind.
And maybe the best one?
Some people get vasectomies. I used to give 'em.
What's this have to do with anything? Enter Ndahmukong Suh of the Detroit Lions, currently regarded as the dirtiest player in the NFL.
His coaches and teammates have talked to him. The NFL has repeatedly fined him and even counselled him in person about changing his ways. Nothing changed. An old-fashioned trip to the woodshed for a good whupping will never happen, although it's an interesting thought.
No, there's only one way Suh will wake up and smell the personal fouls. In a perfect world, there would be a few Doblers in the NFL, that Suh would have to line up across from. Guys just a strong, just as dirty, that also couldn't care less about public perception. Granted, the NFL would cringe at the thought -- but the fans would absolutely love it. Tell me the talking heads on TV wouldn't drool over such a scenario, and I'll tell you you're wrong.
In other words, a healthy dose of his own medicine. I'm thinking that after just one game against someone like Dobler, Suh would have a whole new way of looking at things.
As Conrad might have said -- You want to cheap shot one of my guys? OK. Hope you never wanted to have any kids. Remember that bit about vasectomies and skunks? Let's get it on.....
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