Fans and reporters can whine and cry all they want about how certain players (usually from their home team) should have been selected to go, but weren't. They'll throw in any numbers of stats about how this guy was better than that guy but, in the end, they fail to see the obvious.
Other than millionaires getting another hefty paycheck and a paid vacation in paradise, it's not about being the best in the preceding season. Just like the baseball, basketball, and hockey All-Star games -- for the most part, it's basically a popularity contest.
True, a player must have been pretty good to get that popular in the first place over the years, but how many times have we seen players, who weren't even in the top 5 at their position, get voted to an All-Star squad based on name recognition only? It's kind of like politicians. They work like maniacs to get elected, work even more to get re-elected, and after that, we can't get rid of them. Athletes get endorsements and commercials, while politicians get massive contributions and consolidate their power base. The money pours in, and the public winds up being stuck with both of them, even though neither is worthy anymore.
The Pro-Bowl game is a farce anyway. No blitzes allowed. Don't even breathe on the quarterback. There won't be any hard hitting, because the prime objective is to have a good time and make sure nobody gets hurt. It might as well be a pro-am game. Trot out Tom Cruise at wide receiver or Oprah at middle linebacker, and it probably wouldn't make much of a difference, except for better TV ratings.
It's no big secret that "kicker balls" are different than regular game balls. So why not do it up right for the show? Put some helium in them. How cool would it be to see a field goal kicker boot one through the uprights from 90 yards?
As long as it's going to be a girly game anyway, they might as well get rid of the pads and helmets too. You know how they say defenders always check out the QB's eyes when he's getting ready to throw? If Beyonce or Angelena was wearing a bikini as a QB, my guess would be the defenders would be looking at a lot more than just their eyes. Talk about defensive breakdowns..... It wouldn't matter if they could actually throw the ball. They could walk into the end zone for a touchdown. Besides Oprah, in a fit of jealousy, who would dare hit them?
Forget about the traditional head coaches that only got there because they won something last year. Why not make it interesting? Put Newt in charge of one team and Mitt in charge of the other. They didn't win ANYTHING last year, but tell me they wouldn't pull out every trick play in the book for a victory -- and I'll tell you you're mistaken.
Offensive coodinators? How about Jerry Springer and Judge Judy calling the plays? It doesn 't get much more offensive than that. Defensive coordinators? Perhaps a couple members of Jerry Sandusky's legal team.
In the end, who's going to foot the bill? After all, somebody somewhere has to pay a TV network mega-bucks to sponsor this farce. I hope it's not another Japanese or Korean auto company. They seem to be sponsoring all the other sporting events already.
Hmmm. I have it. Whoever makes Nerf balls. Perfect.
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