Guan Tianling and Tiger

Golf fans know Guan Tianling is the 14-year-old Chinese phenom that is currently teeing it up with the big boys at the Masters Tournament. Sure, the color barrier fell a long time ago, and even a couple ladies recently joined their ranks -- but a 14-year-old playing Augusta National? Holy Mao. What's next? A democrat?

At that, in a controversial ruling, and the first of its kind to EVER be enforced at the Masters, Tianling was penalized one stroke for slow play. He had been previously warned, but continued to exceed the 40 second time limit to hit his next shot, the officials said.

To which I say -- gimme a break. In any typical pro golf tournament, including the Masters, most players routinely go WAY past that time limit. Witness one on the putting green. He'll study his upcoming putt from behind where his ball lies. Then walk around to study it again from the far side of the hole. Then look at the terrain again from east and west, before returning behind his ball to again meticulously analyze the perilous topography that lies between his ball and the hole. Then he'll go up to the ball, carefully adjust his stance a few times, take several practice "air putts", and finally -- FINALLY -- actually strike the ball, only to miss that 3 foot putt. How slow is slow? A lot of these guys probably couldn't blink their eyes in 40 seconds, and a sneeze might take them a half hour or so. But Tianling got penalized for being too slow.

Perhaps the Masters officials would be wise to take heed of who and what they're dealing with. After all, young Guan is likely a Chinese hero these days. While the folks at Augusta may brush it off as merely enforcing the rules on some kid -- it might just be that the powers that be in Peking didn't find it the least bit amusing. He's THEIR kid, dammit.

Rile them up too much and, considering how much money the US already owes China, they could redeem a few coupons and BUY Augusta National, lock, stock, and Butler's Cabin -- and put Tianling in charge to run the whole operation. Don't tell me it's not for sale. In America, most everything can be bought, if someone brings enough bucks to the table.

And then there's Tiger Woods. It seems he struck a fabulous shot which hit the flagstick on the 15th hole, only to bounce back into the water. Alas, Tiger had to settle for a disappointing bogey, rather than the eagle many thought he deserved. His minions are saying but for that bad break, Tiger could be atop the leader board rather than 3 strokes back. Indeed he could. But what they seem to forget is all the errant golf shots Tiger has hit over the years that bounce off trees and back into the fairway, and no matter how deep he ever hit it into the wilderness, magically, like Moses parting the Red Sea, Woods always seemed to have a clear path for his next shot. The golf gods have a way of evening that sort of stuff out every once in a while.

But for now, I'm rooting for the kid. You go, Guan. And take your time. They wouldn't dare penalize you again. The stodgy old farts at Augusta National might be immune to politics and sabre rattling, but if a few billion dollars hit the table -- I'm thinking they can be bought too.