Over the top at the British Open

After two rounds of play at Muirfield, it's become obvious this is a very tough golf course. Yet some of the commentary is almost laughable.

Some suggested there was absolute carnage going on. Gee, I must have missed that part. I watched a great deal of it and didn't see Freddie Krueger, Jason, or homicidal maniacs with chain saws running around cutting golfers into little pieces, though such scenarios certainly would have spiced it up a tad, to say the least. Did Dick Cheney pop up from one his bunkers and -- SURPRISE -- unleash one of those mythical weapons of mass destruction? If so, I missed that part too.

Sometimes those guys get carried away with their descriptions. In my opinion, Paul Azinger summed it up best. Muirfield was hard, and difficult. Hard, as in the fairways and greens being very firm, and difficult, as in very tricky to play.

During the second round, very few of the best golfers in the world could even shoot par. Throw in knee-high rough, undulating greens as fast as your average putt-putt course, and a couple hundred seriously deep bunkers -- and yeah -- this course presents quite a test to even the elite players.

Yet somehow there seems to be an underlying theme that because the players aren't racking up birdies and eagles galore -- this is brutal.

No. It's not. It's still the same players with 14 clubs in their bag being toted around by a caddy, consulting their handy-dandy "black books" for the exact yardage on any particular shot from anywhere on the course. This sort of thing is possible because just prior to any PGA tournament, volunteers comb the entire course with lasers, and plot out every conceivable shot on every hole. This is duly recorded, fed into a computer, printed copies made, and presto -- the players and their caddies know within a yard exactly how far the ball lies from the hole in any given situation. And normally they only play 18 holes of golf a day. Maybe 4 hours of "work". This is not exactly an iron-man contest or a collective cage match. It's golf. And who cares whether the average score is 65, 75, or even 105?

Ah, but there's the ego thing. World-class golfers that have become accustomed to adulation for their remarkable shot-making ability don't want to suffer the indignity of being "humbled" by a golf course. Those 3 putts from inside 6 feet must drive them crazy.

All of this is nonsense, of course. A golf course doesn't humble anybody any more than a player shooting a superb round humbles the course itself.

Ben Hogan was famous for once saying, "I'm glad I brought this course, this monster, to it's knees", when referring to Oakland Hills Country Club during the 1951 US Open. Like the current Muirfield layout, Oakland Hills had been particularly difficult to play. Did Hogan shoot a 59? Hardly. He carded a 67 that day. A good score, given the course, but hardly Ripley's believe it or not stuff. Besides, Hogan permanently tapped out in 1997 and, last time I looked, Oakland Hills was still there taking on all comers.

And for that matter, how exactly does one presume to bring a golf course to it's knees? It's only a piece of fancy land. It's not like it can fight back, sprouting up a Terminator every couple hours or so.

The only person I ever saw truly abuse a golf course was Bill Murray in his portrayal of Carl Spackler in the movie Caddyshack. He blew up the whole course in his quest to conquer those pesky ground hogs. Now THAT'S bringing a course to it's knees. Eat your heart out Ben, wherever you are.

Perhaps the same thing could happen at Muirfield over the weekend. Give a lunatic familiar with the course enough C4, send him on a mission, and this British Open might get a whole lot more interesting. Just kidding.

Uh oh. Tiger Woods is lurking once again. He's only one shot back headed into the weekend. Will he play like the Tiger of old and storm his way to his 15th major title? Or will he fold on the weekend as he has so often in recent major championships? Hard to say.

Interesting stat. In the last 5 years at major championships, Woods is a collective 11 under par during the first two rounds. On the weekends, he's a collective 19 OVER par.

We'll see. But keep an eye out for a guy in a goofy hat running around with spools of wire. Can't be too careful these days.