Hilarious things

So Ellen DeGeneres referred to Liza Minelli as some sort of drag queen at the Oscars? Wow. That's funny, in more ways than one.

Angelina Jolie showed up in an outfit that was called "breathtaking". Supposedly her locks freely cascaded down her shoulders and, while wearing minimal make-up, she appeared to be back-lit, just exuding her magical radiance in wave after wave. Let's cut the crap. I've seen more life-like figures in Madame Tussaud's museum. The good folks at MT's exhibits know a little something about back lighting too, but even their figures don't appear THAT waxy. Definitely worthy of a serious yuk.

Oprah Winfrey is telling Lindsay Lohan its time to quit the BS and straighten up. This from a woman who made over $150 million dollars last year, has her every whim catered to, and was once featured on the cover of TV Guide. Oprah's head -- but with Ann Margret's body -- properly colorized to make it look real. When the scam was exposed, it was downright comical. Oprah's still fat, but she continues to tell her throngs of groupies what to read, what to eat, and how to act. Knee-slapping stuff.

And fans of the Detroit Lions appear convinced that this year's NFL draft and free agency market will garner them enough quality players to actually make them into Super Bowl contenders.

Given their current roster has about as much substance as cotton candy in a torrential rain -- that's hilarious.