Sunday, March 30, 2014

Miguel Cabrera's new contract. Insanity

The Detroit Tigers recently signed slugger Miguel Cabrera to a long-term contract extension. That sounds good. After all, Cabrera has been absolutely tearing it up with his bat for the last few years. Besides winning American League MVP honors, in 2012 Cabrera was the first "triple crown" winner in the major leagues since Boston's Carl Yastrzemski way back in 1967. Obviously, the man can hit for average, belt homers, and drive in a bunch of runs. He even seems to have straightened out his personal life after being found drunkenly incoherent in his car at the side of a Florida road a while back. The Tigers locking him in long-term would seem to be a great idea -- right? Not so fast.

Cabrera will turn 31 in a few weeks. Right now, he's likely in the prime of his career. Again, the man is indeed fearsome with a bat in his hands. But in that respect, Cabrera's pretty much a one way player. He can hit, but not do much else. Certainly, he doesn't possess much foot speed. In other words, he's slow. Defensively, the only position he can really play is first base. Sure, the Tigers put him at third when they finally shed themselves of the woefully inept bat of Brandon Inge and, Prince Fielder, another plodder came on board. But that was only because they had to find a spot for Cabrera, due to Cecil's boy being even more limited in his defensive capabilities. Yet few would doubt Cabrera was a defensive liability at third base. And let's face it. The list is long of major league teams sticking a guy who can hit at first base, but can't do anything else better than your brother-in-law in his over 40 softball league.

Nevertheless, the numbers themselves are mind-boggling. Cabrera's in line to make roughly $30 million annually, for the next 10 years. Guaranteed. Tigers' GM Dave Dombrowski, no doubt with the blessing of owner Mike Ilitch, trumpeted this as a prudent financial move to lock in their epic slugger for the long term. And yes, in 6-7 years, given inflation, $30 million a year, or roughly $82,000 every single day, 365, won't buy as many burritos or Reese's cups as it does today. I get that, but somehow I think Miggie will be able to barely scrape by when Hillary is having the decor of the Oval Office re-arranged for her second term. Sorry. Ahem.

However, while Ilitch, Dombrowski, the Tigers, and their faithful media throngs consider this contract extension a good move -- yours truly thinks it is not only totally insane, but a slap in the face to sports fans everywhere.

I've long railed about why the average "family of four" sports fans have to skip a house payment to attend a game. Besides outrageous ticket prices and parking fees, there's a reason why they have to cough up 10 bucks for a watered down beer worth maybe a nickel. Nothing like a ball park frank? You got that right. Where else would you pay $6 for a leathery hot dog on a soggy bun? And the last time I was there and went to what I will very loosely refer to as the "condiment" stand to dress up a couple of those dogs, I'd swear that relish was moving on its own. Horrors! The pickles are alive. This was definitely not a good sign.

Obscene contracts like Cabrera's (and others) are EXACTLY the reason attending sporting events has become so pricey.

Yet if Dombrowski was thinking long-term, then let's take a look at those same long-term implications from another viewpoint.

As mentioned above, Cabrera is now 31. Would any objective person reasonably doubt that as the years go by, and Cabrera gets into his mid, then late 30s, his skills will diminish? Sure, right now, he's all that. But he's also not exempt from the forces of Mother Nature and Father Time. That dynamic duo always has, and continues to bat 1000 when it comes to aging and athletic prowess. As the former goes up, the latter inevitably goes down. Cabrera is no exception. It's highly likely in just a few years, let alone 10, his productivity will start to taper off -- perhaps dramatically.

Consider another possible scenario. Good health is a blessing -- not a given. And who knows what the fickle finger of fate may have in store for Cabrera? There's always a chance he could suffer a disastrous event along the way. Besides various sports-related injuries, even something totally unforeseen like a serious illness or car accident could happen, that could not only diminish his capabilities, but BANG, end his career entirely. Abruptly. God forbid, but ya never know what tomorrow will bring -- let alone the next 10 years. Yet the Tigers would still be on the hook to pay Miggie $30M a year until Chelsea starts thinking being a US Senator would be pretty cool. Somehow that picture doesn't seem quite right.

For the above reasons, yours truly would humbly submit the Tigers were not prudent, but foolish locking themselves into such a deal.

And $82,000 a day, EVERY day, 365?

That's just insane.



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