Saturday, March 1, 2014

Weird weekend stuff

Here's something I'll bet you didn't know. According to a certain commercial, young children only see in black and white these days. Yet all is not lost. Wizard of Oz pills are available for a nominal fee. Drug your beloved rug-rats with a few of these goodies and they'll go to bed in the dreary black and white world of Auntie Em in Kansas -- only to wake up in a magical land of Munchkins in full color. It's amazing what they can do with pharmaceuticals these days.

The Chicago Black Hawks and Pittsburgh Penguins played a game at Soldier Field, home of the NFL's Chicago Bears. Problem was, snow was falling heavily throughout the game. Crews had to repeatedly shovel off the ice to keep it playable for an NHL contest. Pretty cool, no pun intended. Then towards the end of the game, an NBC announcer evidently experienced some sort of Divine enlightenment. An epiphany. Maybe even a miracle. When referring to the weather conditions, he stated that sometimes it snows "up north" in the winter time. Well, flog me with an icicle. Who knew? This man is an absolute genius.

And now another word from our sponsors. If that lovable Flo doing all the Progressive commercials is making union scale royalties every time one of her spots appears on various TV stations at all hours -- I'm thinking she'll be moving into Bill Gates or Warren Buffet's neighborhood sometime soon. At that, a recent commercial showed Flo, along with two other guys, snatching up their phones on the first ring from a potential customer calling in. I tried that same number, and got put on hold by a computer generated voice. So what's up with that?

Congrats to the Wichita State men's basketball team for finishing the regular season 31-0. They're the only men's team to remain undefeated. Yet they're still only ranked #2. Florida is #1, though they have two losses. That doesn't seem right. I don't want to hear about strength of schedule. Undefeated is undefeated, and there's only one. Whether or not the Shockers can play with the "big boys" come NCAA tournament time remains to be seen but, for now, denying them #1 status is just wrong.

Of course, a weekend wouldn't be a weekend without a Tiger watch. Eldrick shot his best round of the year, a 65. The bad news is -- despite such a good round -- which was matched by his playing partner -- one Luke Guthrie -- Tiger still finds himself merely tied for 17th place, and a whopping 7 strokes behind headed into the final round.

Finally, there's George Blaha, the long time voice calling the games of the Detroit Pistons. Never short on words, Blah-Blah has seen a lot over the years. A decade ago, when the Pistons won their last NBA title -- he was there. Since then, he's watched the Pistons go from very good, to average, to the current terrible. Just last night, the Pistons were getting blown out again -- this time in Houston. Yet leave it to George to find a silver lining. OMG, he breathlessly ranted. If the Pistons can just score the next basket -- they'll be within 10 points. Making something positive out of a trainwreck has to be a tough job sometimes, but that's what homey announcers have to do if they want to stay employed by their teams.

Allan Iverson will have his number retired by the Philadelphia 76ers. Interesting. Though definitely a prolific scorer throughout his career, the self-proclaimed Answer didn't seem to have one when it came to playing any sort of defense. He might well have been the biggest ball hog not named Kobe Bryant in the history of the NBA. And the thing is -- teams he played on never won anything. Even the "Dream Team" he played on for the USA in the 2004 Olympics only managed a bronze medal. Great smile, lots of cool personal tats and stats -- but a one-dimensional player to be sure. But hey, if it makes the City of Brotherly Love feel better by honoring him -- then why not? Lord knows, their other pro teams haven't exactly been tearing it up in recent years.

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