Yours truly was a maniacal Detroit Lions fan for over 30 years. From a little kid until I was in my 40s. From Alex Karras and Tiger Stadium, to Barry Sanders' final game in the Silverdome. I really don't know how many games I attended and how much money I spent over that period in my loyalty to the Honolulu blue and silver, but it was a lot -- both ways.
But when Barry walked back in '98, I shared his epiphany. We paid our dues and tried as hard as we could, but enough of this nonsense. This clown franchise isn't going anywhere, so why bother? Turns out, the last 16 years have served as proof positive of that. Not a single playoff win, let alone getting anywhere near sniffing the Super Bowl. Sanders left untold millions on the table, and likely the all-time rushing record. Yours truly probably saved enough for a new car, or maybe beer money over those same16 years. Never did do the math on that and pretty sure I don't want to know anyway. And, of course, there's the matter of not having gotten my hopes up, only to be disappointed 16 more times. How much is that worth? So no, yours truly has never been to a game at Ford Field and has no desire whatsoever to do so, even though he's been offered free seats on occasion by season ticket holders that could't make it for one reason or another. Done is done.
Yet the madness goes on. In Detroit, every year is THE year as proclaimed by their media and gobbled up by the still gullible fans. Guess what? No, it's not. It never has been, wasn't last year, and a look around the league strongly suggests the Lions will remain mediocre in the foreseeable future.
As for who should be inducted into the Bonehead Files? Actually, there are several more worthy candidates.
It was breathlessly reported that Lions' QB Matthew Stafford threw for over 300 yards in the recent Pro-Bowl game. OMG, the second-most ever. Sounds great, until one considers the next to nothing defense in such contests. The D-line doesn't rush. They play patty-cake with their O-line counterparts. No blitzes allowed. The receivers can pretty much run wild in the secondary because nobody's going to hit them hard. Exalting Matthew Stafford for chalking up big passing yardage is like idolizing an NHL center/forward for scoring a hat-trick in their similar "no defense allowed" All-Star game (the last one had a score of 17-12). Welcome to the Bonehead Files.
The Super Bowl between Seattle and New England has yet to be played and the NFL draft is still months away. But already there are those in the Lions' camp offering projections. Who should they take with their first round pick, assuming he's still on the board when Detroit's turn comes?
The Lions have had mixed success over the years when it comes to the draft. They've grabbed some players that turned out well, but many others that were busts. The "Lions' brain-trust" could fairly be considered an oxymoron more years than not in their history. But never fear, there are also those in their media who will analyze things for the fans. One such story had a possible draft pick graded out as having "Pro-Bowl" potential. Nevermind this guy hasn't even been drafted yet, if the Lions even pick him, much less played a single down in the NFL. We're talking Pro-Bowl caliber in the future while the guy is still on a college campus? What's next? The Canton Hall of Fame possibilities of a kid on his JV high school team? Welcome aboard the good ship Bonehead.
All in all, oh my, the Koolaid season seems to have started earlier than usual this year in Detroit with their beloved puddy-tats. And if their fans, goaded on by the above-mentioned media, REALLY think next year is going to be the one -- well -- jump on in -- again.
The Bonehead Files await you. It takes a little getting used to admitting you were an idiot all along, but after a while the truth always has a way of setting you free.
Cheaper too.
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