Saturday, January 10, 2015

The naming rights game.

Yours truly is too lazy to look them all up, but I dare say elderly sports fans (over the age of, say, 35) can remember a time when most stadiums and arenas had names that we automatically associated with a certain team.

Some are still there. Everybody knows what team plays in Fenway Park. Same with Lambeau Field. Some were named after the teams or towns. Maple Leaf and Boston Gardens. Yankee Stadium. Cowboy Stadium. Others were even dubbed after the structure itself. The Silver, Super, and Astrodomes. Still others had/have names of mysterious origin. Candlestick Park. Arrowhead Stadium. Soldier Field. There were probably good reasons for this at the time but, again, I'm taking a lazy day and don't feel like Googling all that stuff.

But somewhere along the line the light bulb came on and franchise owners realized there were millions of easy bucks to be made by selling the naming rights to their stadiums/arenas to various other deep-pocketed entities. Without naming names, these mostly involve banks, credit card outfits, insurance companies, and the like.

Ever wonder why your interest rate stays low on your bank account, high on your credit card, and your insurance premiums keep going up? It just might have something to do with these companies forking over countless millions to buy naming rights to various venues. They're putting your money to work alright, in the name of advertising themselves.

Just recently, rumors are swirling that the owner(s) of the Detroit Pistons' arena are considering selling out the same way. Let's not forget the late long-time owner of the Pistons, Bill Davidson, purchased the land and built the Palace of Auburn Hills entirely with his own money. "The Palace" was a fitting name. Indeed, 26 years later, it remains a world-class facility.

And let's face it. People that can afford to buy professional sports franchises are typically billionaires already. With mega-TV money flowing in and other endorsements plastered all around their venues, they don't need the "paltry" extra few million that come with whoring out the naming rights of the venue itself to the highest bidder.

If true, one can only wonder what the Palace might be renamed -- and by who. Some of these corporations are comical if one stops to think about it. One has a dopey lady selling insurance policies out of shoeboxes in what appears to be a sanitarium. Others have ducks and lizards as spokespeople. Still another has a cartoon character who can regularly be seen on a blimp flying over stadiums. And what gives with a certain financial institution calling itself the fifth third bank? Think about that name for a second. How many times did these people crash and burn before? Will it be the sixth fourth bank next year? Who knows?

And instead of Championship Drive, what might they rename the road that leads to the Palace? Equity Avenue? Piece of the Rock Parkway? Discover Drive? The not-so-good possibilities are endless.

Though there's absolutely nothing wrong with their current home, the Detroit Red Wings have recently floated the idea of getting a new venue built for their hockey team. This has been met with resistance from some quarters. After all, unlike what Bill Davidson once did, this would likely involve serious tax-payer dollars and -- guess what? Last time I looked Detroit was still bankrupt. They don't HAVE any money.

But from the Red Wings' corporate point of view, it's somewhat understandable. After all, how much money is Joe Louis paying them every year these days to have his name stay on the building?

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