Detroit Lions win the Super Bowl?

Well, that's about as likely as Halley's comet making a U-turn and coming back to crash into planet earth next February. It's possible, but so is Hillary ditching Bill to shack up with Rush Limbaugh. Yet I dare say the odds are very long against any of the above actually occurring.

But the Lions won a game.

Finally.

At home.

Against Da lowly Bears.

By 3 points.

In overtime.

Barely.

Lions fans are no doubt overjoyed. A VICTORY!!!!  Know who else is happy? The bookies. They had the Lions as exactly a 3-point favorite so nobody that wagered on this game is a winner.

Yes, the Lions finally got rid of the zero in the win column, and maybe 1-5 sounds a little better than 0-6. But does it really matter? Let's face it, these guys are not a good football team.

Against the Bears, the Lions committed their usual assortment of bonehead plays and the also usual dozen or so dumb penalties, but fate appeared to be on their side. That, and the officials. Upon further review, all the "close calls" seemed to go the Lions' way. Maybe the zebras and the "guys in the booth" felt sorry for them.

Put yourself in their likely mindset. After all, it's just the Bears. They're not going anywhere again either, but they've won a couple games while the puddy-tats have yet to chalk up a single victory. So who cares if we cut the Lions some slack? It's not like this is the Packers against the Patriots, you know, two good teams slugging it out in a contest that mattered. It's the Lions and the Bears. The equivalent of Gomer Pyle taking on Barney Fife in a cage match. Good for comedic value, but hardly a battle between serious contenders. Somebody has to win and, by tomorrow, nobody will remember or care about certain calls, because they never mattered in the first place.

Quick question. Is Matthew Stafford any better than Jay Cutler? Careful. Many consider Cutler a bust, but Stafford's been in the league for 7 seasons and has yet to win a playoff game. Both make obscene salaries, but supposedly Stafford has had more talent to work with. How do I know this? Because the Lions and their faithful, if koolaided, media have said so -- repeatedly. They wouldn't lie -- right?

So let's get real. At 1-5, the Lions' playoff hopes are pretty much already over. With two games remaining against the vastly superior Packers, a road trip to St. Louis in December, and a slew of other games that could go "either way", the Lions would have to win all the "maybes" to even finish at 8-8.

That's probably not going to happen. Yours truly was ranting to anyone that would listen before the season even started that the Lions were vastly overrated, and predicted them to finish 7-9 at best. Few took heed, especially among the Honolulu blue and silver lemmings. As it has played out, 6-10 appears more likely. It's just another nowhere season piled on top of the decades of same that have preceded it. No big deal.

Yet the Lions barely beating the Bears had another consequence. Had they lost to go 0-6, Jim Caldwell's head coaching seat would have started to get a little warm. Sure, he's a righteous dude, nice guy and all, plus he's a "minority" coach -- which typically cuts him extra slack in today's world -- but getting beat at home by the lowly Bears to remain winless may have caused even the most true blue politically correct Lions fans to start questioning his worthiness as a head coach. The whispers and grumbling would likely have started.

By squeaking out a win, Caldwell bought him and his staff some more time. But make no mistake. This guy is not the answer to what ails the Lions. His time will come for the door to hit him on the backside on the way out of town, like it has for so many others. His former record as a head coach elsewhere speaks volumes. He's a proven loser, and look at where the Lions are now under his tutelage. 1-5 and lucky not to be 0-6 is what it is.

Did I mention the Lions are not a good team, and will likely get worse in the future? Matthew Stafford hasn't gotten better. He's regressed. Calvin Johnson will be lucky to last another couple seasons with the beatings he's taken over the years. The offensive line remains in flux, but when has it not been? The running game is the worst in the entire league. The secondary remains Keystone Koppish, and on and on.

But congrats on beating Da Bears.

It's something.

Sort of.

Maybe.

For now.