Sunday, March 26, 2017

Sports bites

Holy cow, can that be right? The LA Clippers blew an 18 point lead with 5 minutes left in the game -- against the lowly Sacramento Kings? The very same Kings that traded away the only good player they had (Boogie Cousins) a while back?

Perhaps the likes of Chris Paul and DeAndre Jordan should quit with the stupid insurance commercials and get back to concentrating on playing some serious hoops. And Steve Ballmer forked over a whopping two BILLION to former owner Donald Sterling -- for THIS mess? Methinks I know who got the better of that deal. Somewhere Mr. Sterling chuckles. And BTW, whatever happened to his main arm-candy squeeze V. Stiviano? Is she still out there lurking somewhere?

In ladies' college hoops, down goes Notre Dame. Little Miss Muffet McGraw likely pouts on her tuffet. Alas and blarney, there will be no Lucky Charms for the leprechaun folks this year either. Yet it is interesting that Stanford, which knocked them off, continues to advance to a possible game with mighty UConn. After all, the Cardinal were the last team to beat Geno's bambinos (which was almost an incredible three years ago) before they began the ridiculous winning streak they're currently on. Could it happen again? Maybe. The Lady Huskies have to lose eventually -- don't they?

See Kim Mulkey, head coach of Baylor, rant, rave, and stomp her feet on the sidelines. See her team finally lose its composure and go down to Mississippi St. in overtime. Out go the Waco girls. Well gee, couldn't it be expected a team will follow the example their head coach sets? If their leader is acting like a screaming whack-job on the sidelines, how can the players be expected to keep their composure on the court? Though it's long been relegated to the obsolete file, the age-old axiom of "monkey see, monkey do" still appears relevant at times.

Conversely, you've never seen the above-mentioned Geno Auriemma go ballistic. If he's not already the greatest coach in women's college hoops history, there is little doubt he soon will be. The most upset the diminutive Italian Stallion ever becomes, at least publicly, is to have a quiet word with an official or one of his players. Perhaps a frown or disdainful look. But never a rant. Seems to be working. So what's with all the theatrics by the others? What, pray tell, is the point of all of it, other than to make themselves look like spoiled bratty kids having a temper tantrum?

On that note, one is also left to wonder why, tell me WHY, so many female coaches get so gussied up for a basketball game? You've seen them. Every hair perfectly in place, likely fresh from a beauty salon somewhere. Add in maybe 3-4 pounds of goop, sometimes as known as make-up. Six inch heels appear to be on their gotta-have agenda. Though we can't sense it on our flat screens, even with the ultimate in hi-def, it's a pretty good bet they've been dipped neck to toe in a barrel of foo-foo, sometimes known as fancy perfume. See Geno in a modest suit. Cologne, if any, unknown, but if he's wearing it, Essence of Ravioli No. 5 probably wouldn't be a bad guess.

But his hands aren't clean either. See his staff of female assistants. See them trussed up tighter than Egyptian mummies, with the same goop, hairdos, and heels. It's almost a minor miracle they can even walk with those ultra-tight form-fitting skirts. Of course, each step can only span maybe a couple inches, given those restraints, but dammit, they're looking good for TV -- right? And, OMG, who knows how much foo-foo they've hosed themselves down with?

Girls, girls. Get a grip. Yes, we know you want to be looking good when the eyes of the hoops nation are on you for your 15 seconds. But let's not get carried away here, OK? It's still a basketball game, and you're still some manner of coaches. This is not a fashion show with a runway, and the Playboy people likely won't be calling you anytime soon to set up a major photo shoot. In the cases of many of you, should your "wares" be splashed on a centerfold, Hef's mag might quickly follow the likes of Enron, Hillary, Hudsons, Oldsmobile, and Burger Chef into the not-so-good never-never land of crashing and burning. And just imagine the nightmares you might give adolescent boys who dared to sneak a peek. Horrors!!!

Uh oh. Those pesky Boston Celtics have caught up to the defending champ Cleveland Cavaliers in the NBA's eastern conference. The beaners probably won't win it this year, but make no mistake. They bit the bullet, blew up the team, and got rid of all the albatross contracts for aging players. And they predictably stunk for a while. But along the way, general manager Danny Ainge was stock-piling draft picks and has used them wisely with more still to come. The Celtics will be back in a big way, shortly, and perhaps for quite a while.

Russell Westbrook of the Oklahoma City Thunder just racked up another triple-double. And his team still lost to the Houston Rockets. Yawn. RW may well be a worthy MVP candidate this year, but that team is going nowhere fast when the playoffs start. One trick ponies just won't get it done in the post-season.

And Charles Barkley appears to be on a mission to see how fat he can become. Have you checked out the girth on that rascal lately? Forget advertising a credit card. The Goodyear people ought to be calling him to put his likeness on one of their blimps -- if they can squeeze it in. Let's just say that between Sir Chuck and our current Prez, things are proceeding along at quite the "bigly" rate, if a bit scary on both counts.

Ah yes, as the man once said -- is America a great country or what?

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