Saturday, May 12, 2018

From the mind of Kobe Bryant. LOL

Sorry, but that very phrase makes me chuckle. As if the former Laker hoops player ranks right up there with Aristotle, Hawking, Einstein, or even Mad magazine writers. You know, the geniuses.

But evidently there are those that think Kobe Bean is some sort of mental heavyweight, and will hang on his every word of "wisdom". Oops, another bout of uncontrollable laughter has set in.

OK, sorry, better now. But sappies will shell out big bucks to get schooled by THIS guy? REALLY?

Dang. What could be the next big hit? The art of the perfect golf swing by -- Charles Barkley?

How to be the ideal husband by -- Tiger Woods?

The secret to exquisite public rhetoric by -- Shaq?

101 ways to be a he-man by -- Caitlyn Jenner?

No doubt, there are those that would buy into such premises as well. Giggle, choke, snort.

But back to Bryant.

His very name itself makes one wonder about a couple things.

Why would any sane parents give their child the middle name of "Bean"? Was he green when he popped out of the womb? Waxy-looking? Did his daddy have a favorite Pinto he drove?

Kobe beef is a delicacy in Japan. It's been said it can fetch upwards of $300 a pound. But it's still a hunk of beef, which comes from a cow, like all other beef.

So pick any part of a cow and tell me this -- would you pay $300 for a few slices of it? Good grief, prime rib and porterhouse steaks, superior cuts both, can be had for under $10 a pound. And if these "special" cows, raised in a special "prefecture" in Japan, are worth three C-notes a serving -- how much does a whole one cost? A couple million? For a cow? Are they feeding these things Franklins instead of grass or corn to, excuse the pun, beef them up?

Oops. I'm laughing again.

So we've got a ridiculously expensive hunk of meat combined with the name of an average veggie any idiot can grow in their garden -- and now it supposedly has a great mind? Worthy of showering even MORE money on for its latest pearls of wisdom? That used to play basketball, and never heard of a thing called "defense"? And there are folks out there dumb enough to buy into this?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Only in America. The land of opportunity -- and also home of so many mental midgets.

Next thing ya know, the guy currently occupying the Oval Office will come out with a guide to being humble, acting like an adult, and above all, always being truthful. And it will fly off the shelves as a #1 best seller.

Sorry. It's too much.

I'm losing it again.....

Hats off to you, Kobe Bean. You've taken P. T. Barnum's famous quote a giant step further. There's not a sucker born every minute, but millions of them out there already waiting to cough up their hard-earned dough on such insanity. And will love it.

Actually, it's really not funny.

Just sad, pitifully so.

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