Tiger, Danica, and a --- mattress?

The insanity (sometimes known as Tiger Woods hero-worship) goes on.

Being the good little sports junkie I am, naturally I flipped to the Golf Channel to check out the Memorial -- Jack's tournament. Most of the big names were there.

But something was out of place. Where were all the Tiger Woods highlights? Then I found out he'd already finished his round, at pedestrian even par.

After just one round, Eldrick Tont found himself 7 seven shots out of the lead and mired in forty-some place. Sounded about right. Unless he picks it up in the second round, unlikely, he'll miss the cut -- again. Yawn.

Wait a second -- there it was. The evidently mandatory Tiger interview. No matter how far back he is, Eldrick will always get his face time.

What is it with these people? Woods hasn't won squat in many years, so why do they still insist on championing what is becoming more and more of a lost cause every day? Yes, he had his run of greatness, probably the most dominant decade of golf in history.

But it's over. Get used to it. While they're wasting air time on Tiger, they're missing out on the action of better players still on the course.

And now a word from our sponsors.

Didn't catch the brand name, but one ad definitely made me sit up straight in amazement.

$700 off the usual price, and free financing for 36 months.

For a --- gulp --- MATTRESS?

Just how much does that thing normally cost? The terms listed two lines above sound more like something you'd hear regarding purchasing a brand new car or truck. Not a freaking mattress.

For whatever price it is, that thing better not only be comfortable and therapeutic, it should be able to mow the lawn, go grocery shopping, and clean the house.

Back to business.

Speaking of misguided hype, unless one was in a coma, they knew that Danica Patrick was returning to the Indy 500, for a "swan song" race. So what happened? Exactly what was expected to happen of  the one-woman demolition derby. She kissed the wall about a third of the way through.

The reason for her latest demise was officially listed as "contact". Evidently, the politically correct police have done away with the word "crash" as well. But crash she did. Chalk up another half a million bucks in wasted racing machinery. What's she up to now? 40-50 million worth over the years -- while not winning anything?

Finally -- mercifully -- she has decided to retire. The glorious Ms. P can gallop off into the sunset and the poor folks that got stuck with the tabs for making all those world-class racing cars can breathe a huge sigh of relief. The mega cha-ching girl is no more.

Here's hoping she doesn't wreck the horse.