Thursday, October 25, 2012

Game 2. Crises narrowly averted

Wow. Detroit Tigers's starting pitcher Doug Fister had a batted line drive come back and hit him in the head. That was a scary moment, and could well have become a crisis. Thankfully, Fister seemed to suffer no ill effects from the blow, stayed in the game, and performed very well.

Nevertheless, sometimes head injuries aren't always immediately apparent, and can have a delayed reaction. So, if in a couple days, the artist formerly known as Mr. Fister starts showing signs of morphing into Uncle Fester, the Tigers would be well-advised to put him through a battery of EEGs, MRIs, CATscans and the like -- just to be on the safe side. If all that fails, then emergency measures may be required. Schedule him for a segment on Dr. Phil to get him straightened out.

And now a word from our sponsors. Here comes the one and only Brad Pitt, that world-wide movie star, macho-stud and sultry devil that gets all the ladies' body parts a-tingle. Brad says it's with him wherever he goes. Chanel No. 5. The pretty girls swoon.

Yeah? Big deal. I'm never far from Channel No. 206, ESPN on DirecTV, and they've got a helluva bigger following then Brad ever will. Hey Brad. Go back to Italy with Angelena and all those adopted rug-rats and be happy. We ain't got time for no wimpy perfume. There's games to watch and beer to drink.

Sorry. Got carried away there for a second. Where was I? Oh yeah. Now back to our regular programming.

During the course of the game, Prince Fielder of the Tigers launched his rather sizable girth through the air in a failed attempt to catch a pop-up. What goes up, must come down, and so it did as it crashed back to Earth with a mighty THUD. Needles jumped on Richter scales the world over. This is no laughing matter. Remember, we're talking San Francisco here. Earthquake country. The San Andreas Fault and all that. Geologists are in agreement those tectonic plates beneath the ground hang in a very delicate balance these days. They could shift and cause a crisis of extreme proportions. Another seismic catalyst like that from Fielder could well result in the bottom half of California floating off into the Pacific somewhere. Martin Sheen, the Kardashians, and maybe the LA Clippers aside, I dare say not too many people want to see THAT happen. Whew. Another disaster narrowly averted.

So now the Detroit Tigers find themselves on Orange Alert. Their ace pitcher got lit up like a pinball machine in the opener, and a bunch of San Fran pitchers Detroit folks likely never heard of combined to throw a 2-hit shutout at their team in Game 2.

Can the Tigers win 4 out of the remaining 5 against those pests from the west to become champions? Stranger things have happened, but if they drop Game 3 at home in a couple days, it goes to Red Alert, and the fat lady starts warming up.

But at least Fielder can dive away all he wants in Detroit for the next couple games. Sure, the seismographs will still take note of the event(s), but the chances of him causing an earthquake in southeastern Michigan are about the same as.... hmmm....

This started off about the World Series. How did the Lions winning the Super Bowl get in here?


  1. forgot to mention the crazy third base coach that made a call that cost the Tigers a possible run, could have changed the game totally had he stayed on third. are not impressed with Danica and I never did think Brad Pitt was attractive, but especially not in recent pics with the long dirty looking hair. Each to his own...I guess.

    The Princess

    1. Princess. I didn't forget it. Thing is, everybody and their step-uncle will be talking about that. My niche is getting weird about sports stuff. If in doubt, call the sports ed at the OP, and I'm pretty such he'll vouch for my weirdness. Danica/Schmanica, stick girls never impressed me. As for Brad, why would her Highness care about him when she can likely have all the male models from Playgirl feeding her grapes and bon-bons? LOL