Monday, October 29, 2012

The Detroit Lions' illusion

So the Detroit Lions squeaked out a last second victory over the Seattle Seahawks to raise their record to 3-4. Had they lost, given their brutal schedule that remains, even the Lion die-hards might have grudgingly conceded any chance of glory this season was gone.

Guess what? They never had a chance at glory in the first place. They ain't all that. They weren't all that last year either. They ain't NEVER been all that, and yours truly doesn't see them sniffing the Super Bowl any year soon. Presently, they've got one great receiver, an overrated QB, and all the rest is mediocre -- at best. Forget miles. The Lions have light years to go before any thoughts of Vince Lombardi's trophy should even be vaguely entertained.

Other teams rise to the top, fall back down, then rise again to glory. Like Pittsburgh, San Francisco, the NY Giants, Dallas, Green Bay, etc. The Lions had been flat-liners for a very long time, then finally showed a blip on their EKG last year. No more and no less. Then they got blown out in their first playoff game. Despite that reality, the Detroit Lion bandwagon was rolling again and, oh my, did the people jump on it. Next season will be better. We're contenders now and the sky's the limit.

Correction. No. They weren't "for real" contenders then, and they aren't now either. The illusion has become more sophisticated, but it's not real.

What the Lions are extremely good at is doing just enough to keep their fans desperately grasping for the brass ring that isn't even there. It's still an illusion. It's like believing a magician is really flying through the air over the audience during his performance. Some people will actually buy into that and go home to tell their friends about how it was real. Please.

In the Lions' case, the Detroit area sports bars love it. Cha-ching. The Lions' bean counters love it. Cha-ching. The kool-aided Detroit sports reporters love it. Lots of printed words and sound bytes. Once the Honolulu blue and silver sweet stuff overwhelms their systems, there appears to be no known antidote. After all this time, year after decade after half-century, you'd think they'd learn. But they never do.

One word to y'all. Suckahs.


  1. John....OMG, tell us how you really feel. Did you find it necessary to give all the Detroit fans a reality check? LOL Or did someone just Pi** you off this weekend. Either way, I am glad you got all that off your chest, so you can start writing real sports stuff again.

    The Princess

  2. I suspect no harm done, Your Eminence. Lions' fans are oblivious to reality anyway, so what does it matter? And nah, nobody ticked me off this weekend. Actually, I had a marvelous time watching the game at a peasant tavern, which would surely be beneath your dignity to grace with your presence. Only problem was, I wound up waiting hand and foot on another apparent female member of royalty that had obviously lost their way and happened onto the place. See to my liquid refreshment, John. Bring me cuisine from the buffet, John. And oddly enough, she looked a lot like one of those ticket ladies that had preyed upon me during the Mich/Mich St. game at a different establishment that I wrote about last week. Hmmmm.....

  3. Sounds like you attract Pretty ladies to not so obvious places.....LOL

    The Princess

    1. Now that you mention it, they WERE pretty. Huh. Never noticed it before. I must be getting old or sumthin......