The Pittsburgh Steelers are a proud, storied franchise in the NFL. They've got a fistful of Super Bowl rings and scads of former players in the Hall of Fame. Like them or not, it's probably fair to say most every NFL fan at least respects them. They've earned it. That said, it's on to the rants.
It's high time for some serious fines to start happening in the NFL. Remember Steelers' linebacker James Harrison getting fined $25,000 here and $50,000 there for some of his vicious hits in recent years? It was a joke. That's chump change to a guy making millions. Want to get serious? Make the first flagrant offense 20% of a player's yearly salary, the second one 30%, the third the remaining 50%. That will make them sit up and pay attention. Yet, there JH was again, launching himself at the head of an opposing player when the Steelers were playing the Cincinnatti Bengals. Thankfully, the player ducked out of the way and nothing bad happened. He should be zapped with 20% anyway, particularly as a repeat offender, whatever the number is. In the real world, that's like shooting at somebody but missing. Guess what? You're still going to jail, because you had intent to cause great bodily harm, or worse.
Then there was #88 for the Steelers, a wide receiver named Sanders, in the same game. He wasn't vicious, but rather a shyster. When the Steelers found themselves in a situation late in the game where they weren't quite sure what to do, Sanders took the dive of all dives. While standing in the huddle, he suddenly collapsed. Trainers and medical staff rushed out to tend to him. After a long break in the action, while the Steelers got their act together on the sidelines, Sanders hopped on his right leg all the way across the field to the Steelers bench, while grimacing in pain and holding a hand to his left hamstring. Hop, hop, hop. Yours truly never heard of a delayed reaction to a pulled hammy. I've had a couple, and they hurt like hell right away, not a couple minutes later when it's convenient. If that wasn't ridiculous enough, one play later Sanders was not only back in action, but running down the field with blazing speed covering a Steelers' punt. I say hit him with the 20% fine for running a con game. And nail everybody else on the Steelers, from the head coach on down to the water boys, with 10%, for aiding, abetting, and conspiracy. For that matter, is insulting the intelligence of a national viewing audience a crime? Politicians aside, if it's not, it ought to be. Throw in another 5% for that on general principles. This stuff has to STOP.
Other suggested fines.....
From now on, every time Stuart Scott of ESPN says "BOO-YA" -- take 10% out of his salary.
If Chris "The Boomer" Berman, also of ESPN, says the word "back" anymore, zap him $10K for each offense. Next time he's calling the replay of a fly ball in a baseball game, and goes into his signature, "Back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back" spiel, it'll cost him 100 large. He'll not only quit that, but we'll have the added benefit of saving on the cost of buying new remotes, because we wore out the mute buttons on the old ones.
For every dumb Peyton Manning commercial hyping whatever his endorsement of the day is -- I think it should cost just a nickel. If a mere five cents were to be made payable every single time a TV station anywhere broadcast such a thing, we could probably pay off the national debt in a couple months.
After swami, guru, and all-around super-analyst Mel Kuyper has thoroughly done all his research and goes on the air for hour after hour to inform us which teams will pick which players in which order during an NFL draft? Pay him a thousand bucks for every one he gets right, and dock him a measly $20 for every one he gets wrong. Further, dock him another $20 for every ounce of hair gel he uses annually. Those are pretty good odds -- for us. After a couple years, that could add up to serious money.
Finally, there's probably little to be gained by fining Detroit area sports reporters for using the words "Detroit Lions" and "Super Bowl" in the same article, regardless of what time of year -- ANY year -- they wrote it. First, they can't help it. The koolaid overwhelmed their system long ago. Second, with a few notable exceptions, they don't make that much money anyway. Still, a punishment would seem to be in order.
Hmmm. Maybe a year in Cleveland would be appropriate. They could get a whole new perspective on things and also add another few lines to their resumes. Seems reasonable enough, and if anyplace will get rid of the rose tints -- it's Cleveland. If during the course of that year, they used the words "Browns" and "Super Bowl" in the same article? Well, as they say, there just ain't no fixin' some things. Leave em there.
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