Monday, June 24, 2013

Doc Rivers and trade possibilities

Evidently, the Boston Celtics just traded their head coach, Doc Rivers, to the Los Angeles Clippers for their 2015 first round draft choice. NBA insiders are surmising that may open up other possibilities between the two teams -- perhaps something involving aging Celtic center Kevin Garnett.

Personally, I find this fascinating. If head coaches can be traded for draft picks, then why not think outside the box as to where this could eventually lead?

For that matter, where is it written in stone that teams from one professional sport can't make trades with teams from another sport? If it suits both franchises for whatever reasons -- then why not?

Remember when Matt Millen was screwing up the Lions' franchise as it's Prez? Eventually, even the Ford family came out of another one it's comas and got rid of him. But they still owed him millions of dollars. There was a better way. They could have traded him to another NFL team as a live tackling dummy. How many teams have one of those, and what would it be worth to them? Indeed, even if the "blue oval" folks had wanted to keep it "in house", they had other options to get at least a little bang for their bucks with Millen. Why not take him out to the Ford Motor Company proving grounds and strap him in as a crash test mannequin? Those fake ones with all the sensors are OK, but what could be better than a live one? Vroom. Screech. BANG!!!  "Tell us how that felt Matt, and our engineers will get to work on making it a little less painful for our real customers in the future". At least he would have earned some of his money.

The Detroit Tigers don't know what to do with former closer, and lately ninth inning batting practice pitcher Jose Valverde. They should have traded him when he still had some value. NASA might have gladly picked up his salary. These days, nobody knows more about "moon shots", except maybe Lori, than Valverde.

The Detroit Pistons dumped head coach Lawrence Frank a few months ago. They still owe him $4 million bucks. Frank can sit around and do absolutely nothing, but Pistons' owner Tom Gores will pay him more money next year than the average hard working family will likely earn in the next decade. Why not get some use out of him? Trade him to Tiger Woods. He might get a kick out of a red-headed caddy he could boss around, and $4 million is chump change to Eldrick. Either that, or Tom Gores could also keep it "in house". As the owner of Palace Entertainment, he rules over Pine Knob (yes, it will always be that to me, the over-charging smart-meter electric company aside). Give Frank an official looking uniform with a badge, a whistle, and let him patrol biker's alley while the concert is going on. I'm not at all sure how much his authority would be respected amongst the riders, but even a guy like Frank patrolling around ala Barney Fife couldn't hurt. I think. Worth $4 million? Hell no. But it's better than nothing.

Ken Holland, the GM of the Detroit Red Wings, doesn't know what to do with all the young players and free agent possibilities that await his attention? No problem. Put them all on E-bay. Up for bids. Owner Mike Ilitch is probably too busy worrying about working out the finances for the new arena that will house the Red Wings that he wants to add to his growing kingdom in the Fox district. And who's to say Ken Holland himself is off-limits when it comes to trade bait? But most accounts, he's done a masterful job over the years. Maybe another NHL team would cough up enough money for his services so the taxpayers in the Detroit area (and you know it's going to happen, one way or the other) don't get banged yet again for another new pro sports venue by a billionaire and his family, who will reap enormous profits in the future by having it built, while booting an untold number of families out of their houses that will be razed under the "eminent domain" thing. There's absolutely nothing wrong with Joe Louis Arena, other than the fact it's "old" by modern-day sports standards. In other words, there's more money to be made elsewhere with a new-fangled arena that will more properly cater to the corporate sponsor type folks. Cha-ching, and watch the ticket prices go up. Who's kidding who? For many years running, attending a Red Wings' hockey game has been beyond the financial reach of many thousands of their long-time faithful. It seems ironic. Not that long ago, during contract negotiations between the NHL and the players' union -- the salary cap was basically cut in half. One would have thought if the teams could only pay half as much money to the players as what they used to -- ticket prices and concessions would surely go down accordingly. One would have been wrong. It's become even MORE outrageous.

So OK. Doc Rivers got shipped from the east to the west coast. If enough of us came together, perhaps we could make the same thing happen with certain owners.

I'm thinking the Fords, Ilitches, and Gores should be traded to the Middle East somewhere. Why? Because they're always in rebuilding mode too and we always end up paying for it, one way or the other.

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