Monday, June 17, 2013

Tiger Woods and Jimmy Soul

Everybody knows who Tiger Woods is, but how many remember Jimmy Soul? I'll get back to that.

It's probably fair to say Tigers Woods' career, and life, have taken some strange twists and turns over the years. There was a time, not long ago, when he was all but unbeatable on the PGA tour. Tiger was winning seemingly everything, including one major title after another. When Tiger was "on", most of the other pro golfers conceded they were playing for second place. He was just that good.

There's little doubt that with his world-wide fame, good looks, and yes, megabucks rolling in, Tiger could choose amongst prime "cuisine" when it came to the fairer sex. They were likely standing in line hoping for the chance to enjoy his company.

And then he did something that puzzles yours truly to this day. He got married and presto, out pops a couple of kids. Granted, his wife, Elin Nordegren, was drop dead gorgeous -- but still -- why would a guy in the prime of his sexual virility, that could pretty much have anybody he wanted -- want to settle down? Wouldn't it have made more sense for Tiger to get all that "wanderlust" out of his system before heading to the altar? Alas, evidently some of the wanderlust remained. And when Elin found out -- oh boy. Big trouble, which he very much deserved.

Nevertheless, even before all that exploded, it's notable that Tiger's march to Jack Nicklaus' all-time major record seemed to come to a halt just about the time he got married. Coincidence? Or was Elin the Delilah that cut off Tiger's Samson locks?

Don't get me wrong. I think marriage is a great thing. I've tried it a couple times myself. But it's certainly been known to happen that when a guy -- or gal -- is cruising along at the peak of a professional sports career -- shortly after the "I do" thing -- they seem to lose focus.

Indeed, Tiger tumbled from his #1 ranking in the golf world. Yet a couple years later, after that messy divorce had finally been put to bed -- he regained it. Make of that what you will. Thing is -- even though Tiger's again winning tournaments here and there -- he still flounders in the majors, which were once his forte. Sure, he's still the #1 player in the world, mostly because nobody else can win with any consistency, but when it comes to majors -- instead of his inevitable charge in days of yore -- it's almost like he's a disaster waiting to happen. It seems backwards from what it once was.

Of course, recently, Tiger has taken up with Lindsey Vonn, a world-class skier herself. No, she might not be in the Elin class, but as far as looks go -- Lindsey ain't exactly shabby.

And I think that's where Tiger has gone wrong over the years. Which brings me back to Jimmy Soul. Tiger should have heeded the lyrics of Soul's famous song, which came out way back in 1963. For that matter, in my opinion, it's good advice for ANY man. Chances are you've heard the song over the years here or there. Sing along if you will----

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall
As soon as he marries her then she starts
To do the things that will break his heart.

But if you make an ugly woman your wife
You'll be happy for the rest of your life
An ugly woman cooks meal on time
And she'll always give you peace of mind

Say man!
Hey baby!
I saw your wife the other day!
Yeah, and she's ug-leeeee!
Yeah, she's ugly, but she sure can cook, baby!
Yeah, alright!

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life -- well -- there it is guys. Jimmy Soul's been telling you all along.

Of course, my beloved J is an exception to the rule.

On a related note, here's a shout-out to Pete. I recently met your young-un. Not too shabby, but I hear she can't cook a lick either.

And so it goes. It's always something. Sigh.

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