Thursday, December 8, 2011

Ndahmukong Suh. A conspiracy theory

Why not? If some people can still talk about the last time they spotted Elvis on a tropical island, their latest contact with extra-terrestrials, who was really on the "grassy knoll" in Dallas on 11/22/63, and whether Dolly Parton's breasts were the original inspiration for modern-day satellite TV dishes, then I can talk about a car accident Ndahumong Suh had last Saturday.

According to news reports, it happened in Portland, Or. After being suspended for 2 weeks by the NFL for his head-grinding, arm-stomping hoedown on Thanksgiving day against the Green Bay Packers, Suh isn't allowed anywhere near the Lions facilities. So what's a guy to do with a couple weeks off?

Well, this is America, and he's not in prison or on parole. Probation maybe. Nevertheless, he can go wherever he wants to. Turns out, before he made his claim to fame at the University of Nebraska, he had roots in Portland, family and all, even graduating from high school there. In times of duress, a lot of people go back "home", hoping to find comfort, peace of mind, and perhaps protection from those they perceive are causing them to be under duress in the first place -- just to get away from things. That makes sense.

What doesn't make sense is the car accident -- hence the conspiracy theory.

Though the story keeps changing, let's see what we think we know. For some reason, Suh lost control of his vehicle, jumped a curb, hit some sort of water fountain, a light pole, and finally a tree. Now, I don't know how the cops operate in Portland, but if any of us did that in Michigan, let alone Oakland County, yours truly says to the same probability that it's going to get dark tomorrow night, we'd be getting a ticket for something. Suh was not cited. For anything.

Add up and digest the following:

Initial reports suggested--

Suh was alone in vehicle. Turns out he was not. There were 2 ladies as passengers, who fled the scene before the cops arrived. Is it a crime for passengers to flee the scene of an accident -- in Portland? I don't know. And, by the way, why would they run?

Once the threesome was established, perhaps by Suh himself, upon being questioned by authorities, further reports said there were no injuries. That turned out to be false, because a couple days later those same ladies showed back up complaining of various ailments caused by the accident.

Alcohol was deemed not to be a factor. The possibility of Suh just falling asleep at the wheel has never been suggested. It seems safe to assume a serious medical "incident", such as a heart attack, stroke, or any other immediately disabling condition caused what happened, because if it did, Suh would have been immediately transported to a hospital, and that news would have gone viral within minutes. So that didn't happen.

Was Suh under the influence of drugs? Highly unlikely. He's already under a microscope for some of his previous actions on the field. Even if the Portland people didn't test, to get caught doing that, at this time, might well spell the end of his career. Can you imagine what Roger Goodell would have to say about that?

So what do we have here? Suh was most likely clean and sober, in his home town, with a couple ladies in the vehicle, that took off when the accident happened, but returned later claiming injuries. I doubt anyone would argue those ladies didn't know who he was, including not only that he's a multi-millionaire, but given his current tenuous career situation, certainly wouldn't want some sensational scandal to be splashed all over the media. And remember, the ladies didn't get tested either, for who knows what? They had a couple days to mull this over.

What could possibly cause a testosterone-loaded, young, virile alpha-male to completely lose control of his vehicle under such apparently benign circumstances?

It might have had something to do with a service one, or both, of those ladies was providing to Suh going down the road. That would explain a lot of things. A different interpretation of the word "hoedown"?

Use your imagination.

Or just chalk it up to another conspiracy theory.

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