Friday, March 1, 2013

Highlight rants

See Tiger Woods miss a putt. See Tiger miss another putt. See Tiger miss yet a third putt. See Tiger taking off his shoes and socks before he wades into a pond where his last shot came to rest. See Tiger 6 shots back after one round of the Honda Open. These are highlights? Why in the hell would I want to watch some guy miss putts and take his footwear off? And what's next? Will we be force-fed video clips of Tiger downing a cheeseburger in the clubhouse? Good grief. We've already had to endure watching him drink water and eat bananas in the past while real action was going on everywhere else on the course. Here's a novel idea. How about showing us what the leaders of the tournament did?

See Kobe Bryant whirl, twist, spin, and gyrate to take an off-balance shot into triple coverage while ignoring two wide-open teammates for an easy pass. See Kobe and the Lakers every night on sports recaps. Like Tiger, Kobe highlights seem to be mandatory. See the Lakers with a 29-30 record, in 9th place in the Western Conference, and 2 games out of the last playoff spot. If one buys into the hype, the Lakers making the playoffs seems to rank right up there with matters of national security. It's like if they fail, our entire country will be in grave danger. It's the plague. The nukes are coming. The Lakers didn't make the playoffs. Please. And even if they do -- what's the point? They'll just get blown out in the first round by the likes of San Antonio or Oklahoma City anyway.

I can't wait for the NFL draft. Why? Because some team, mercifully (for us), will take former Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te'o, and the on-going soap opera, replete with imaginary girlfriend and how fast he ran the 40-yard dash at the NFL combine, will have finally aired it's last episode.

Los Angeles Angel outfielder Mike Trout has the talking heads in an uproar lately. Evidently, he reported to spring training weighing 30-40 pounds more than he did last year. Hey, if he can still hit .300, have 80-90 RBIs, steal 30 bases, and continue his stellar defensive play, it shouldn't matter if he showed up looking like Kim Kardashian though -- I must admit -- that would be very interesting. Bet the Angels' locker room and shower facilities would liven up a bit too, but I digress.

It's been almost an hour since I sat down to write this rant. Just peeked at the TV.

Now they're showing Tiger putting his shoes and socks back on -- again. C'mon man. Is there no end to this?



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