The quick brown Fox jumped over...

The lazy dogs at the 4 letter sports network, otherwise known as ESPN. Or so the folks at Fox TV hope to accomplish in the future. According to noted scribe Richard Deitsch of Sports Illustrated, the ever-lovable Rupert Murdoch's little brainchild -- the even more lovable TV conglomerate that Fox has morphed into -- has decided to launch its own version of a 24/7 sports network called Fox Sports 1.

And man oh man, did they ever trot out the heavyweights to be there at the announcement. There was Gary Bettman, and Adam Silver, and.... wait a minute. Not counting NHL owners, isn't Bettman one of the most despised people in all of sports these days? And isn't Silver NBA Commish David Stern's right hand hatchet man and hand-picked heir apparent? Plus Hope Solo was part of the mix. Well gee, that's much better. It sure is comforting to know that a moody soccer goalie has so much public appeal these days. Personally, I wish she'd jump on a starship and fly off with her (rumored) grandpa Han to go fight another empire in a different galaxy. May the force be with her -- as long as it's somewhere else far away. But that's just me.

But wait, there's more, as they say on those late-night TV gadget commercials. In an absolutely breath-taking stroke of genius, the Fox people might even feature such dynamic on-air personalities like Erin Andrews. Hold on again. Erin Andrews? Who the hell is that? Beats me, but I wouldn't cough up 50 cent for one of her kisses.

It seems they might even get Mr. TV himself, Regis Philbin, to be a part of this bonanza. I once read where Regis was the all-time record holder for most TV air time (though that pesky William Shatner keeps hanging in there to try and go where no man has gone before). Now Regis had his day, and his years, and his century, but c'mon. Fox wants to put an 81 year old guy out there as one of the faces of their newest venture? Tell ya what. Even though they might pay him millions, if Fox were to "ask the audience", they might give Regis a 50-50 chance of making it through the first year, no matter how many phone-a-friends he had to help him out.

It appears Terry Bradshaw is a possibility as well. I love Bradshaw. Whether it's him being on an NFL pre-game show or sitting across from a late-night comedian -- the dude's flat out fun to watch and listen to. Sara Lee might very well have come up with the original slogan, but nobody doesn't like Terry Bradshaw either. Old #12 definitely knows his football, and he'd no doubt be worth the price of viewership calling a UFC cage match, or even yee-hawing it up at a NASCAR race -- but I'm not at all sure his style would fit so well with major league baseball, much less soccer. Of course, in America, nothing gets lower TV ratings than soccer, so I suppose it couldn't hurt.

But I hereby predict Fox's venture is doomed to failure. I don't care how much money they pour into it, what advertisers they attract, or who they get as on-air personalities to connect with the viewers. That network has always had an inherent flaw which will quickly turn off sports fans.

When we're watching a sporting contest, whether it's baseball, football, basketball, a car race, a fight, soccer, or anything else-- we want to see all the action -- not just half of it.

If Fox is true to their history, then viewers will only get to see and hear the "right" side of anything they show. Anything to the "left" in the picture has always been at best ignored, and at worst ridiculed, even though they steadfastly refuse to show it. Sometimes they even blur the center.

Hard to say how all this will work out, but until Fox corrects that problem -- I'm sticking with ESPN.